Morning Lord! Okay, so I’m feeling a bit more chipper this morning, and even though I still can’t claim to understand your plan or what it is that you’re up to, I do feel a lot less angry than I did yesterday. I know I do need to confess my lack of faith/faithfulness in this area and pray you would forgive me my sin and cleanse me from all unrighteousness for your namesake. I pray that in time I would much more clearly see your face and understand your (most mysterious) ways.
Off to church this morning. I pray for Daniel as he prepares to speak to us today, and I especially pray that things would be drama-free for him this morning – no ugly car park fights with mad mother-in-law parishioners, no trophy wife with ten tonnes of make-up and ten inch heels battling enraged Missions team leaders. In short, I pray that everyone would keep a lid on their own agendas and try (as I am quite desperately trying) to understand your will and your plan. Sometimes it seems to me as though Daniel speaks, people nod in agreement, we sing the closing song, we stand up, and every single word he’s uttered falls straight out of our heads with the effort of rising to our feet.
For myself, I feel as though this morning I need to come to terms with all that happened yesterday. It turned out, as it happened, to be a “Day of Tears”. I would be tempted to rename our house “The Well of Sorrows” but as you know not all of yesterday’s tears were sad ones, so I guess it’s hardly appropriate.
First up we had Madison’s tears, followed by Emily’s tears, followed by Jess’s tears. For myself I am way past tears where the two girls are concerned, but for Jess it was the first time she had seen the pair of them have a really big bust-up and it clearly shocked her. It started off, as it almost always does, with mild bickering, which preceded some mild tale-telling by Madison, which preceded some insult swapping, which preceded some all out yelling – and maybe even some physical Barbie hurling. Quite who started it I don’t know, but I do (sadly) suspect it might have been Emily, trying to stake claim to her territory by bringing up some of the less savoury comments that circulate at school, and by withholding some of her prized possessions from Madison’s sweaty grasp.
Jess’s shock led to more revelations than I ever intended making, especially since all the blame seems to lie with Emily. I felt as though I could hardly bring up my suspicions about the underlying vibe Madison has lately given me since, at this point, it is all suspicion only. Instead I felt that all I could say in Emily’s defence was that it appears the girls’ friendship is not one of the lasting nature, and that as they have gotten older their (well, Emily’s) interests have widened in a way that Madison’s have not. Jess then said she thought she would take Madison out somewhere (anywhere other than our house) and try and get to the bottom of it a bit more. There was no accusation in her tone or expression, just confusion. And in a way I couldn’t help thinking this all might be a good thing since it’s the most parental I’ve ever seen Jess – and not before time. Anyway, when they came back I was none the wiser about what transpired between the two of them, but they both seemed calm and carried on as though nothing had happened.
Shortly after Jess departed, Caroline arrived. Her parents were around at her house helping her pack and they had run out of boxes. Quite where these boxes will be going is at this point unclear. Caroline was ostensibly out to collect more but diverted to our house, at which point she burst into a huge flood of tears, punctuated by incomprehensible sentences that (I think) bemoaned her (very difficult) fate. All I could do was hug her…and all I can do now is keeping praying for her that you would sort out her life for her, Lord, because it sure is in a mess. I don’t think she left any more reassured than when she arrived, but I think getting rid of some of that pent up emotion sure helped a lot.
Not long after Caroline left, James and Jasmine arrived with the astounding news that James has proposed and Jasmine has accepted. Jasmine was all teary as she showed me the ring and even I shed a tear or two – for Jasmine my tears were a mixture of happiness and “Are you really sure?” while for James my tears were all relief that for once in his sorry existence he actually got something right. It struck me that a while ago I felt as though I really didn’t understand Jasmine, and always felt as though she held herself at arms length from me, but somehow, somewhere along the line things have changed. I am heartily pleased she is going to be my sister-in-law and I pray you would have your hand on them in these next weeks and months as they make plans for the future. The Wellington firm she interviewed for said there was no reason she could not still work here, as there’s the wonder of email plus she could always fly there to get work/deliver assignments as appropriate, so even that worked out.
Yikes! I’ve just looked at the time and realise I have rambled way too long today. Bless our time at church this morning! I pray all in your mighty name…Amen