Okay, Lord, just when I thought life couldn’t get any crazier it has taken its most very crazy turn for 2009. Of all the things that I thought might happen today – what with the school holidays being on, it being a hot day, and with Linley mooching around – the very last thing I expected to have happen was Caroline turning up (with all three kids in tow) looking like a ghost and announcing, in the smallest of voices, that Logan had left her. And not only has Logan left her on her own, with three children including one with autism, three days before what’s supposed to be the happiest day of the year, but he has left her for another woman – the lately decamped nanny no less!! That girl can’t be more than twenty-two if she’s a day!!
Of course (as you know) chaos ensued following this ill-timed and unwelcomed revelation. Caroline seemed to forget how to breathe and fainted dead away, Linley launched into a cutting diatribe that made full use of every proctology joke she could think of and used language not fit for the enraptured PGR audience before her, while all the children bar Christian burst into hysterical and uncontrollable sobbing, while Christian himself tore around the living room smashing every single thing he could lay his hands on.
At first I struggled to believe it myself since we have known Caroline and Logan for ever, and they have always been the model couple – rich, beautiful, successful – the sort of people for whom the good things of life just seemed to drop right into their laps. Never in a million years would I have seen this coming – that Logan could be so spineless as to shirk his commitments, that he could be so heartless as to leave right before Christmas let alone at all, or that he could leave for someone as prosaic as the stupid nanny. It is beyond comprehension and belief.
Yet Caroline’s face told me just how true it was, and besides, when I thought about it, the signs have been there for a while. I guess I just thought that something would happen to improve the situation, not blow it completely out of the water. How she is going to manage on her own I just don’t know, although from what she has told me over the past little while, she’s been effectively left to shoulder most of the responsibilities anyway.
At this point I must confess that I feel completely hopeless and helpless so can only appeal to you Lord to bring forth a miracle to fix this terrible situation although quite where the redemption should be I just don’t know. In the interim I tried to suggest calling Caroline’s mother (who, as you know, is a lovely person) but Caroline was dead against it. At that moment I saw how truly dire the situation is because in a way the whole of Caroline’s life has just crumbled. She’s always tried so hard to be perfect at everything and the fact that she doesn’t want her family to know what has happened just yet is a testament to the fact that she has held a great deal of pride in her circumstances – and by admitting the failure of her marriage she will be admitting a whole lot more besides. How easy it is to deceive ourselves, Lord!
This turn of events of course means that Caroline has nowhere to go for Christmas since she can hardly go to her family without a full confession so Linley quickly suggested she come here. And since Caroline agreed with the sort of alacrity you only see in movies it was a done deal before I could even make so much as an “Erm…”
If I was to say to you that this all means I need every bit of heavenly help you can spare me, this would be an understatement. Lord, I throw myself on your mercy. Please intervene and provide me with either some serious help, some serious relief or some serious therapy. I pray all in your mighty name…Amen