It’s Saturday morning, the morning for sleeping in a bit, taking it easy and generally being a blob.  However true to form I’ve woken up before anyone in the house (if not the planet) earlier even that the alarm usually goes off.  And this is not just any sort of awake but that sort of crystal wide awake you only get when you don’t really need it.  Ah, the ironies of life.

It looks as though it is going to be a lovely day, though, and in a way it’s nice to be awake when everyone else is asleep.  It’s different to being alone – there’s a sort of comfort to the thought that your nearest and dearest are right there, and yet blissfully silent.  It’s a bit like being wrapped in a warm blanket.

Of course I’m not supposed to be sleeping in this morning but getting ready to meet Jasmine and her two other bridesmaids in town at ten thirty.  This will necessitate much primping and preening on my part if I’m not to feel the complete dowdy housewife, but I must say I am very touched to be asked to be part of the bridal party.  Goodness only knows what other couch-dwelling computer nerds my brother will dig up to be on his side of the church!

Anyway, I just want to commit my day (and my self esteem issues) to you, Lord, and pray that you would work in and through me today.  I’m aware of Jasmine’s fledgling interest in all things Christian so pray that it would be you she sees in me and not me and my many and plentiful imperfections.  Bless my family in my absence.  May they be inspired to do as many household and around-the-house jobs as they like!  I love you, Lord!  Amen.

Morning Lord!  I’ve come back to the café this morning for a change even though I’ve got a perfectly good (and empty) home to go to.  I need to do a mammoth food shop plus run a whole pile of other errands so I figure I may as well make a morning of it and aim to finish shopping just before kindy pick-up time.  I must say I am looking forward to the day (still six long months away) when Nathan goes to school and I don’t have to chop my day in half any more.  Of course then I will most likely have to start looking for a part time job of some sort so perhaps I won’t be any better off anyway.

Four things are on my mind today…lucky you, Lord!

First up, and most pressing, is the whole Ashley situation.  As you know, Andrew bravely sallied forth last night to see his parents who were so astonished by his unexpected visit that he at least caught them in good humour at the outset.  Naturally, when he made the purpose of his visit clear, most of that good humour disappeared, but he said it was for the most part a prosperous beginning.  Andrew made it clear that he did not want to take sides, per sae, but that more was at stake than what he thought about the situation.  He said that for his part Cameron was an old and good friend who had been through some terrible things, but who, through God’s grace, had come out the other side a redeemed man with a growing and healthy relationship with you, Lord.  Andrew said he had seen Ashley struggle to find someone with whom she could spend the rest of her life and that he had never seen her as happy as she is now.  He also, for good measure, said that he thought the relationship was of you, Lord.

He asked Claire and William to be specific about their concerns.  He said that when pressed they struggled to come up with any other superlatives than,  “He’s not suitable.”  Andrew pointed out the fact that he was financial, had good health, a good job and that neither of them are in line for any royal throne or any other titular position.  What, precisely, made him unsuitable?  Claire said, of course, that it was his background.  Andrew pointed out that Cameron was hardly responsible for that.  Besides, he said, the Bible is full of people with unsuitable backgrounds – the poor, murderers, prostitutes, persecutors to name but a few – yet that didn’t stop them from being able to make a change under you, Lord, nor be useful in your service.

One by one he argued against their concerns so that in the end all they had left was their reservations.  Andrew asked them to agree to at least give Cameron a chance – for all of our sakes – and miraculously they have agreed.  Andrew has suggested lunch after church on Sunday as a starting point.  All their reservations don’t have to go at once, but as long as they come with some degree of willingness to move forward then there might be a chance at a semi-happy ending.

This was all way more than I thought Andrew would achieve so I give you thanks and praise for this progress and pray, Lord, for your continued influence on the situation.  All help you can spare on Sunday will be most gratefully received!

So to point number two.  My visit to Caroline’s yesterday was very reassuring.  She looked remarkably composed for someone dealing with three children on her own.  Christian’s treatment programme continues to pay dividends and he is evidently calmer and is still sleeping so much better.  Caroline’s mother and father are taking it in turns to do the school run in the morning and Caroline has devised a scheme for picking up the girls from school in the afternoon whereby she doesn’t even have to get out of the car. It was great to see her doing so well.  I continue to pray for your support of her and that you would supply all her needs according to your riches in glory.

Thirdly, Bible Study was great yesterday.  In short (since I am now running out of time and coffee) the topic was on how you love our children even more than we do, Lord, and how we should not be anxious about them but instead continue to commit them to you, that you would lead and guide them as they grow and develop into the people you would have them be.  Thank you for the blessing of my two, Lord, and I pray just that – that you would be the one ultimately raising them.  Thank you for your love for them which passes all understanding.

Fourth and finally, Jasmine called yesterday to say that she and James have set their wedding date – August 14^th.  Amazingly, she wants me to be one of her bridal party and has invited me to go with her and the other two bridesmaids to look at dresses tomorrow.  I must say this has me all of a flutter!  I pray I might be a good witness for you, Lord, and that you would temper my fear that I will prove to be both too old and too fat to do the job justice.

Better fly!  I lift all before you in your mighty name…Amen

Bible Study day today, Lord!  After having missed church on Sunday I must say I am really looking forward to seeing what new things I can learn from your word.  As always I pray that you would forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness for your namesake, and that you would be with Libby as she prepares the topic for the day.  It will be interesting to see what she has planned for us today and what discussion comes out of it.  I love the fact that people can have such different perspectives on the same topic and that sometimes you can even change your thinking about things as a result.

Thank you for the blessing of yesterday’s lunch.  I could tell that it perhaps wasn’t the most auspicious day for Andrew and me to be meeting from his point of view but at least he had a bit of time out in an otherwise busy day.  Of course the subject material wasn’t exactly relaxing but it was nice to spend time together outside of the house nonetheless.

After talking things over we’ve decided (as you know) that it might be time for An Intervention on Ashley’s part.  Someone has to at least try and make Claire and William see sense – and who better than Andrew?  He may at times drive me crazy with the usual list of husbandly atrocities (wet towels dumped on the floor, unwiped crumbs on the kitchen bench, mid-toothpaste squeezing and an extraordinary ability to walk straight past things that need doing) but he is always a voice of reason and can be both discerning and wise.  He’s going to go around to Ma and Pa Copeland’s tonight and try and talk things through with them.

Naturally such a heroic act is worthy of much prayer (Moses with his hands raised during battle with the Amalekites springs to mind) so I pray here and now that you would fill Andrew with every tool he might need for the conversation to come tonight and that more than anything else, the meeting would be pervaded by your wisdom and influence.  I pray that a way forward might be found.  I dread the very thought of having to manage family occasions where people won’t meet on the same ground or under the same roof in future years.  Anyway, suffice to say you’ll be hearing more from me about this while Andrew is there tonight!

Better get going!  I want to call in at Caroline’s before I pick Nathan up from kindy so I need to get a move on.  Work in and through me today for your good purposes.  My desire is to be both dependent and obedient.  Amen!

Morning Lord!  Well, I am quite at my leisure this morning (apart from an army load of washing, cleaning and paying some dreaded bills).  There’s no sign of visitors, long-term guests, children, upset relatives or any other cloud on the horizon.  So, before I tackle my mountain of uninteresting tasks I thought I’d check in with you.

The exciting news of the day is (as you know) that I’m off to have lunch with Andrew.  Dad called yesterday to say he’s in dire need of some grandfather/grandson time (code for: my mother is driving him insane) so he is going to collect Nathan straight from kindy so that they can get on with their adventures without delay.  So, I am going to have lunch today with my dear husband, who has graciously informed me that he might just be able to fit me in to his busy work schedule.  Charming!

Of course we will probably end up trying to formulate some sort of battle plan as to how to deal with The Situation (a.k.a  Cameron and Ashley v’s Claire and William) and see if we can’t think of something to do to improve things as they currently stand.  Nothing is springing to mind at the moment that doesn’t involve small localised nuclear explosions or personality transplants, so we really are relying on you, Lord, to fill in the gaps here.

It did occur to me that Claire and William, as old and as set in their ways as they are, are still as much works in progress from your point of view as Andrew and I are ourselves.  Maybe there are things you are trying to teach them through this whole situation.  I would say,  “Good luck with that!” but I know you’re bigger than that.

So, Lord, I pray you would bless my day and my family (both branches!) and that you would work in and through me for your good purposes.  I pray for a good lunch with Andrew and that you would give us your wisdom regarding what to do – or not – as the case may be.  I lift this all before you in your mighty name…Amen

Morning Lord!  I haven’t got long before I have to go and pick up Nathan from kindy so this will be a rather rushed entry today.  As you know, I have had Ashley here this morning in a right state about how things are between her and Claire and William so my pictured peaceful few hours were not meant to be.

I thought from all she had said that Ashley did not really mind so much about the attitude Claire and William have chosen to adopt.  After all, they have been a critical pair from old and I thought she would be used to their ways by now after a lifetime of living under their strict regime.  They truly are the Negativity King and Queen.  It probably wouldn’t have mattered whom Ashley had chosen to be her husband, he would not have been good enough.  (Well, perhaps Prince William might have passed muster – but then again maybe not.  He’s too young anyway – and taken.)

Of course such negativity can at times be useful.  If you want to know what’s wrong with anything they’re certainly the go-to guys.  Within minutes of explaining a scenario they will be able to tell you the top ten reasons why the idea is either sad, bad or mad (or all three) which can be useful for tempering youthful enthusiasm for things such as speculative investment, great sounding schemes, or even just having fun in general.  In Cameron’s case they, unfortunately, have seen way too much of his past and the things he has been through to be anything other than appalled at the very idea of Ashley marrying him.  I understand that.  What they don’t seem to give any credit for is the fact that he is a changed man under your saving grace, Lord, and because of this he has more than a fighting chance of being good husband material.  One can never tell.  Look at Logan.

If they were on the look-out for another William as someone for Ashley then I’d be packing my bags for Alaska right now.  After forty odd years of marriage to Claire he really no longer has a true opinion of his own, and as long as his meals are hot (and dull), the week is orderly and regulated, and Sunday sermons are unchallenging he is a happy wee camper.  It’s only when some of this order is disturbed that he shows any sign of a backbone.  This is not what Ashley needs.  I see how happy Cameron makes her.  And, since they have known each other from childhood, they have a camaraderie that means their relationship is based on friendship as well as love.

I wasn’t sure what to say to Ashley to make things better (hence all my little arrow prayers!) but just advised her to do as you lead, Lord.  I wonder if there are things we (Andrew and I) could be doing to make things better.  All I can do is commit this situation into your hands, Lord, and pray that you would help to sort it out.  Soften Claire and William’s hearts, Lord.  I lift this all before you in your precious name…Amen

I’ve come straight home from one single school drop-off and one single kindy drop-off to an empty house, Lord!!  And, as you know, I’ve danced around every single room revelling in the fact that I am alone.  It is a joyous thing indeed.  Of course, true to human nature it probably won’t be long before that aloneness turns to loneliness but for the meantime I see myself in no danger of the novelty wearing off.

I must txt Caroline a bit later and see how she got on overnight on the first night of their new lives but I figure she’ll have her hands full.  The phone has yet to be activated so I pray that this would happen really soon since, of all people, Caroline needs to be in touch with others in case of an emergency.  It is a profound thing for her to now be in sole charge of three children so I pray too that you would sustain her as she makes this new life a reality.  Strangely, it seemed to me as though Caroline is coming into her own a bit, and rather than being daunted by the prospect (as I would most certainly be) she seems gritty and determined to make it work.

Perhaps the few weeks (almost two months!) here have allowed her to take stock, come to terms with what has happened and be ready to move on.  Maybe she has discovered within herself resources she did not know existed, together with a better realisation of what it means to rely on you, Lord.  Nevertheless, like many women around the world who raise children on their own, she has a difficult task ahead, and all the more so because of Christian.  All I can do is pray that it would be you giving all wisdom, strength and guidance as they move forward, rather than that which comes by human effort.

No word from Claire and William.  I talked with Ashley and she sounded resigned to the fact that they were never going to take news of the engagement well.  Not sure what we missed at church yesterday.  I had a read of Colossians 3 (which I assume Daniel would have covered) and would like to have heard what was said about it.  One passage stood out to me:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

What occurred to me is that there are often times when I grumble about doing things for other people (thankless washing, ironing, cooking and tidying up spring to mind!) and it can be easy to be resentful about the more mundane side of life.  It’s good to be reminded that ultimately everything we do should be about serving you, Lord, even if in the process of doing so it serves others, especially the ones we love.

Bless Caroline and the children, and Cameron and Ashley.  Bless our family, Lord.  Work in and through me for your glory….in your name…Amen

Morning Lord!  By rights I should still be asleep at this hour of the morning but since I’ve woken up early I will take advantage of the fact to spend some time with you.  What a lot there is to say!

Of course yesterday was dominated with starting the process of moving all the Wests worldly goods out of our very stuffed garage and into the rental property.  I took turns with Caroline’s mother to look after all the children and to be honest I’m not sure what was the harder work – lugging and unpacking boxes or staying behind and supervising five children (six if Christian counts as two – he’s easily double the work!).  Thankfully the excitement of the move meant the children themselves were excited and rather more inclined to play well together (Christian excepted) than on any other day since the Wests moved in.  There’s some sort of irony in that.

Of course the need to really move in – as opposed to moving everything in and spending the next six months (or more) slowly unpacking – meant that not nearly as much progress has been made as we would have hoped.  So I’m afraid to say that we will be ditching church today in favour of helping out once again.  Not exactly the most restful weekend for any of us – especially Andrew – but I think at this point he’s prepared to do anything that might see him get his garage back.

Anyway, while I will be sorry to skip church, the old adage of every cloud having a silver lining rings true once again.  And here we come to the really big news – which of course you know all about – the unexpected arrival last evening of Cameron and Ashley to tell us that they have got engaged!!  There we were, all tired and bedraggled from a day of hard labour, but on hearing the news we all leapt out of our seats like the day was just beginning.  We are truly delighted for them and I couldn’t help looking at the two of them and feeling amazed at the transformation in them both…and feeling a little bit nostalgic for that intensity of feeling that new love provokes if I’m really honest.  Still, fleeting feelings are not reliable in a long-term sense, are they?

Cameron and Ashley only stayed a short while because they felt they should go and tell Ma and Pa Copeland, who, by the volume of voice during the phone call Andrew subsequently received from them, did not take the news well.  Hopefully our enthusiasm in some way made up for such parental opposition.  Anyway, as I said, our inability to go to church today does at least mean we will not be subjected to another ear bashing about the whole thing – although I thought Andrew handled things pretty well on the phone when he expressed our support of the engagement.  Brave man!

Anyway, bless Cameron and Ashley as they commit to one another and start making wedding plans. I pray you would work in the hearts of Claire and William and help them come around where this engagement is concerned. Bless Caroline as she makes her new home and bless our endeavours this day as we try and get everything prepared for their final move.  Only one question then remains:  will this be the Wests last night with us?  Amen, Lord, Amen

Thought I had better definitely find some time to spend with you this morning, Lord, before the chaos of the weekend ensues.  Caroline has arranged to start moving into the rental property tomorrow by shifting everything out of our garage (much to Andrew’s glee!) and starting to get set up.  They won’t sleep their first night there until Sunday night at the earliest though since she wants as smooth a transition for Christian as possible.  She does not think he would cope well with boxes and things half unpacked so I’m sure it will be all hands on deck for the next couple of days until everything is sorted.  So, if I don’t get back to you, Lord, you’ll know why.

I do pray that the transition would go well for them all, Lord, and not just Christian.  I pray for you to empower Caroline – to give her the strength and wisdom to cope with all that she will need to deal with on her own – and that you would continue to extend your grace to her by sending her help when she most needs it.  Thankfully there have been some marked improvements in both Faith and Trinity over the past couple of weeks since Faith has had a real change of attitude (helped tremendously by the work that school have done with her) while Trinity has gone from silence to monosyllabic replies to even using short sentences which is great.  She’s been playing our piano at home quite a bit and even though it’s a much more inferior instrument than the one she used to have she seems to have gotten over her initial reluctance to even so much as touch the thing.  You’ve given her a real gift there, Lord, and I’m constantly blown away by the skill and beauty of the music she produces.  I’ve told Caroline she can take the piano if she can find some extra muscles to help shift it.  It only sits around gathering dust and junk anyway.

Thank you for Bible Study yesterday – another interesting session.  Libby did a whole study around two verses in Romans 12.  I’m writing them both in my prayer journal as a reminder:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

It was amazing how much Libby got out of these two verses – their underlying emphasis on the need for us to be both dependent and obedient, the need to have clear and correct thinking based on Biblical principles, and the fact that these things then help us know what your will is – your good, pleasing and perfect will.  I must say, I like the sound of that.

I feel as though I need to meditate on these verses a bit more to understand them better but it’s exciting to think that, if we live a life of dependence and obedience, your will can be those things to us, rather than something we fear or resent.  Continue to work in and through me for your good purposes I pray…in your name…Amen

Morning Lord!  Well here we are, Bible Study day, so I thought I would check in with you before I go so that everything is straight between us.  I must say that I do feel much more on the same wavelength as you since I realised the need to let you be the one to direct the ship and not me pretending to be a good captain – so to speak.  I pray for a blessed time with the other mothers and for your hand to be, as always, on Libby as she brings us your word.  Thank you for bringing her into my life.  She had proved to be a most welcome and unexpected friend.  I feel like without her and without Daniel I’m not sure I would have made as much spiritual progress as I have over the past twelve months.  Of course such progress could also be a very big spin-off of having committed to this prayer journal as well I suppose.  Whatever the reason, I give you thanks and praise.

I’m not the only one experiencing revelations.  Andrew went out last night for a catch up with Cameron so that left Caroline and me at home in a reasonably peaceful house after the children (including Christian) went to bed.  We got talking in a way we don’t usually manage with either the children or with Andrew around, and it was interesting to hear some of the things that Caroline has been learning about her own life and faith.

She said that she had come to see how, over the past few years, her trust had not been in you at all but in the security of her relationship with Logan and in her wealth and possessions.  Of course when absolutely all of that disappeared, and then Christian got diagnosed, she felt as though every last thing she ever relied on disappeared in one fell swoop.  She no longer had a home, any money, a husband or even anyone to turn to, and she’d got so comfortable with the externals of her life that she had lost her ability to even turn to you.  I guess when you don’t speak to someone for a long time it can be difficult to know how to turn back – and all the more so when it’s the Lord of Hosts and you know you are in the wrong.

Thankfully you are an awesome and forgiving God, Lord, and that slowly Caroline has been able to open up to you and to commit all to you.  She told me that coming to live at our house was key to this as she saw in Andrew and me a really different relationship to the one she had with Logan and also with you, and that we literally helped save her in every way imaginable.  Now I don’t know about that, but it was a real blessing to think that we were so instrumental in helping her to change and move forward – that we could be that Jonah Tree for her.

I pray you would continue to use us in this way, Lord.  Of course my first instinct is to qualify that prayer by asking that such a use would not involve us actually having to play host to another guest, for pretty much as long as I live, but then, I realise that if I am to be used by you it must be on your terms and not my own, Lord.  Instead, without qualification (although with a tingle or two of nerves) I pray that you would continue to work in and through me for your good purposes, whatever that may entail.  I lift all before you in your mighty name…Amen