Morning Lord! Well, here I am, at the café, with celebratory coffee to mark the fact that I have been writing in my prayer journal (and therefore spending dedicated time with you!) for one whole year. It was great to also celebrate with Andrew by going out for dinner last night and reflecting on the great many things I have learned on my journey with you over the past twelve months. Of course I didn’t quite manage getting to my prayer journal every day but have benefited greatly from the fact that I brought so much of my life before you, Lord. I will always be grateful to Daniel for his challenge to us to start in the first place. The experience really has changed my life.
Speaking of Daniel, he brought us yet another challenging message yesterday, this time based on a few very obscure verses in 2 Samuel 24. Towards the end of this chapter (as you know!) David is looking to buy the land that the temple was eventually built on. The owner of the land, awed by the presence of the king, offered the land to David for free. But David said,
“No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”
Daniel linked this with some verses that talk about servanthood including Luke 12: 35 & 36 which say:
“Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately ope the door for him.”
Daniel said that we are called to be servants of you and that this servanthood may (or even should) come at a cost. He challenged us with the words of David – that we don’t just give to you what comes naturally to us, but that we be prepared to give in service to you even if it costs us to do so. It made me think of all the visitors we have had to stay over the past twelve months, most of whom have come at a cost (either physically, emotionally or financially) and how, with the wrong attitude, you can end up resentful and worn out by begrudging the service. How much better might it have gone for me if I had instead been more willing and said to you, “I will not sacrifice that which costs me nothing”?
So, Lord, as I look forward to the next twelve months with you I feel certain of three things. The first is your amazing love that leads us always closer to you; the second that by being dependent on you and obedient to you that we get everything necessary to walk that walk; and the third is that from now on I will have in my heart a willingness to serve you, even if it costs me everything I have. It feels risky saying that to you, because I don’t want to end up like Job or Ezekiel, but I know I need to make a daily choice to trust in you.
Thank you, Lord from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. I commit myself to you and trust that you will continue to work in my life, through the good times and the bad, according to your good purposes. Thank you for the amazing gift of motherhood and for my wonderful family. Thank you for friends, for fellowship and for all that you do for me both seen and unseen. In the end all I can do is pray… Amen, Lord, Amen.