Oh Lord, oh Lord, I’m in such a state that I can’t seem to pray in my head.  Ever since Mum rang yesterday to say that Dad had had a heart attack and had been rushed off to hospital in an ambulance my mind has been a writhing, tortured mess and I’ve longed to have five minutes to spend some time with you and my prayer journal.

Lord, I can only pray and place him in the palm of your hand.  Seeing him lying there in hospital looking suddenly so frail and grey and old, I was sure he was going to die there yesterday.  The doctors say this is not likely at this stage (although they are keeping him in for observation and further tests) but I have not their confidence.  I know modern science means that they can know and do all sorts of things that were once deemed impossible, but we are ultimately just flesh and blood and not destined to live forever.  I just pray that this is not Dad’s time to go, Lord, although I do know you are the one who determines these things.  I’m not ready to let him go yet.  And he’s not saved, Lord.  I don’t want him to go without coming to know you.  It makes me realise how neglectful I am in praying for him and for Mum in any capacity other than wanting them to get on with each other and leave me in peace.

Andrew is coming home early from work so I can go and join Mum up at the hospital.  I pray you would comfort my agonised heart and racing mind while I endure the wait.  I pray Andrew would not get held up.  But mostly, Lord, I pray for your hand to be on Dad and that you would make him well.

Amen, Lord.

First day of the school holidays, Lord, and it’s a glorious morning.  If the weather holds I might even think about taking the kids to the park for a bit of an airing.  I had thought that Dad might like to come too but when I spoke to him first thing he said he was feeling a bit queasy on account of something mysterious my mother cooked for dinner last night.  Even Sherlock Holmes would probably have trouble identifying some of her meals.  This latest cooking atrocity seems only to have added fuel to the fire of their latest tiff, and I gather that by this morning the two of them are barely speaking again.

What am I supposed to do with them, Lord?

I read James 3 this morning just to see what I might have missed at church yesterday and the chapter was largely about taming one’s tongue.  It does seem ironic that something as small as a tongue can be, as it says, like a rudder on a ship, holding the potential for changing the course of a person’s life with in an instant.  All food for thought, Lord.  Certainly I think Mum and Dad would be better off if they both chose their words more carefully.

Anyway, I pray for your hand to be on us today, that we would have a restful and fight-free day…Amen

Sunday morning, Lord, and I am still tucked firmly under the duvet, since we aren’t intending to go to church this morning.  There won’t be any formal Sunday School and it’s just easier to stay home.  I hope you don’t mind.  I’m trying to feel guilty, but to be honest it is a glorious feeling not to be up and rushing about.  Of course in reality I’ve already been up for ages, fed the kids, the cat and myself (Andrew is old enough to make his own breakfast) and sorted out two sibling fights over who gets to watch what on t.v.

In spite of not going to church I thought I would check in with you and offer up to you my thanksgiving for all that you have done for us and to let you know that I love you and that I appreciate your love and your gift of salvation.  Bless Daniel as he delivers the message, and be especially with those parents who have taken along their children so that they are still able, in spite of any chaos, to focus a little on you.

In Jesus’ name I pray…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  I’m celebrating the start of the school holidays in fine style and have just woken up after a little nap (as you know) and still have the bedroom door firmly shut so I thought I would take the opportunity to spend a quick prayer time with you before I confess to being back in the land of the living.

I was only out until eleven thirty last night, but the way I’ve felt today, it may as well have been two thirty.  I fear, again, that I’m getting old.  You know things are out of kilter when not only can you no longer sleep in, you can’t stay up late either.  I’m sure that false teeth and Zimmer frames must be right around the corner.

In the end (as you also know) last night was a good night.  Linley was bearing up under the strain of being parted from Mark and made up for his absence by talking about him constantly.  That Mark – he’s so fantastic it’s a wonder he doesn’t wear his underpants over his trousers and a shirt with a big S on it.  Not only that, she loves the new job and loves being more in charge and is sure it’s only a matter of time before she starts earning a serious amount of money.

Strangely, I found myself quite immune to all of this glorious boasting.  Maybe you are having a good effect on me after all, Lord.  I just thought about all the things in my life that are more important to me than a flashy boyfriend and a high flying job and how my heart lay in the things we talked about on Thursday at Bible Study.

Perhaps it was thoughts of Caroline as well that made Linley’s chatter seem more appallingly shallow than appealingly attractive.  She arrived (horribly late) looking tired and fractious and as though she wasn’t sure she should be there, let alone whether she wanted to be there.  When she arrived she looked at me with the strangest expression, as though she had much to say but no words with which to express her thoughts.  I just decided, right then and there, that no words were necessary.  If she wanted to apologise (and I think she did) I didn’t have to hear the words.  Her face said it all.

So I hugged her, Lord, gave her the most encouraging smile I could manage, and I said nothing.  And in response she hugged me back like I was a life ring with Titanic written on it.  I could tell straight away that she just wanted to forget about all her cares for the evening, and since Linely was in full flight about her wonderful life, and horribly oblivious to anything, Caroline was able to have a break and say very little of consequence whatsoever.

Well, I had better stop hiding, Lord, and get moving now.  Once again I continue to pray for all the Wests, that your hand would be on them, and most importantly that your hand would be on Caroline.

Amen

Well, Lord, here we are, the end of term, the end of peace and quiet for another two weeks.  But, on the up side, it is another two weeks of no lunch making, no worrying about what crimes against humanity Nathan might be perpetrating at kindy, and no fixed agenda.  It is definitely true I think, that every cloud has a silver lining.

I must say I am pleased it is school holidays in another respect as it will give Emily a break away from all those catty girls in her class, and give her a chance to maybe sort some things out in her head about her friendships.  I gather there was a bit of trouble yesterday between Emily and Madison and some of those other girls – all the same stuff with Madison being teased essentially for being poor and Emily not quite sure what side of the fence to station herself on.  Of course Miss Hollis (Educational Goddess) smoothed things over and made everything all right for everyone.  Methinks Miss Hollis (Educational Goddess) might be a bit delusional.

So, Lord, I pray that over the holidays I might have a chance to spend some time talking with Emily about some ways she might be better able to manage her friendships.  At this point I have to confess I don’t actually know what those ways are so I’ll be relying on you to fill in the gaps.

Maybe our Bible Study group will provide some helpful tips (although we won’t meet now until after the holidays.)  We started our first proper study yesterday, all expertly prepared by Libby, where we looked and talked about our desire to learn as mothers.  I must say it was refreshing to hear some of the comments the other women made about sometimes feeling equally inadequate as I do as a mother but equally keen to do a good job as well.

Caroline was a no-show.  She and Linley and I are supposed to be going out tonight so it will be interesting to see whether she turns up or not.  I continue to pray for whatever is going on with her and for our time together tonight (if she comes), that we would have a good time that you would grant me the wisdom to know what to say to her in the event she does turn up.

I commit everything to you in the name of Jesus…Amen

Morning Lord.  I’ve quite unashamedly got Nathan watching Ben 10 this morning so that I can spend some time with you, not only to get myself into the right headspace before Bible Study this afternoon, but to try and make sense of yesterday’s time with Caroline.

In truth, Lord, I’m more alarmed than assured after our time together yesterday.  I have never seen Caroline more brittle or more angry in all the many years that I have known her and frankly, it scared me.  I was as careful and as diplomatic as I could with her but anyone would think I was trying to conduct the Spanish Inquisition, complete with instruments of torture.  I asked about how Logan was but I got a very curt reply about how busy he was.  I asked about why the nanny was leaving and practically got told it was none of my business.  I asked how the girls were, but rather than the usual rapturous replies I might receive about their many and plentiful virtues I got a series of monosyllabic replies.

And then (and this was probably my biggest mistake) I asked about Christian, about what was up with him, why he was so volatile and out of control.  But Caroline flung this back in my face and told me my own child was no angel and I should worry about the plank in my own eye before worrying about the speck of sawdust in hers.  Squirm.  I could hardly argue with that, could I?

So, alas, not only am I no further ahead with finding out what is really going on, I seem to have single-handedly alienated my best friend.  Which leaves me with only one option, I guess, and that is to give them over to your care, Lord, for you to look after them and supply what is needed – because I sure as heck don’t know what that is.

Be with us today at Bible Study, Lord, and if Caroline does come, help me be wise enough to know what to do and what to say.  I’m trying not to be bitter or offended about all of this Lord.  After all she is the one with the problems.

Amen.

Off to Wonderworld with Caroline and Christian this morning, Lord, and I’m already running late so it’s a quick prayer only, just to check in with you before we go.  Be with us all I pray.  Help Christian and Nathan to get on, and I pray Caroline and I might have a chance to catch up properly, especially before Friday when we are due to meet Linley.  Somehow I don’t want to get together with Linley without really knowing what is going on with Caroline so this will be the prime opportunity to maybe ask some questions.

In Jesus’ name…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  Here we are again, Monday afternoon, just you and me.  Thank you for this new day and for the way you are working in our lives.  Thank you for the blessings of yesterday and for a mostly good time at church.  I really enjoyed Daniel’s sermon on James 2.  There’s a lot to learn in this chapter but the two things that stood out for me are not showing favouritism (always a challenge when one child is angelic and the other an untameable force of nature) and the concept that faith without deeds is dead.

On the subject of untameable forces of nature, there seemed plenty of wildfires brewing at church yesterday.  Diana coming storming out in the middle of the service, dangling a screaming Christian by the scruff of his neck was certainly a sight to behold.  Both of them seemed to have complexions coloured with some hue of purple (Diana’s from fury, Christian’s from partial asphyxiation) so there was a ruckus while that got sorted out.  Caroline ended up leaving with Christian, while Logan waited and looked immensely uncomfortable until after the service so he could collect the girls.

So right when I was feeling sorry for Caroline, while congratulating myself that for once it wasn’t Nathan being frogmarched out of Sunday School, out come Nathan and Trinity from said Sunday School arguing at the top of their voices about Christian.  Apparently Nathan said that Christian was a mental case and that he needed to be in a mental institution so Trinity countered that Nathan was a four-headed baboon and that he needed to be locked up in the zoo.  After that it was all on for man and beast alike.

As you know I called Caroline this morning and we’ve arranged to take the boys to Wonderworld on Wednesday so hopefully that will give us a chance to catch up, and maybe I’ll finally get an opportunity to find out what is really going on.  If nothing else it might be a nice chance to take Nathan there for one last play before the school holidays start and the whole place turns into a lunatic asylum.  (Friday, Lord!  I can’t believe another term is nearly over!)

Another small cloud on the horizon is Jess and Madison.  Jess called yesterday to see if there was any way I could start having Madison come home here after school every day starting next term as things are not going well for them financially.  If I agree Jess can give notice to the place where Madison regularly goes.  What a prospect!  Every day, after school!  But then I heard what you said, Lord.  Faith without works is dead.  So, against my better judgement, and possibly to my detriment, I have agreed.  I’m not sure Emily quite knew what to make of it, and I could see Andrew was surprised in that,  “Was that wise?” kind of way, but how can I say no when they’re in need?  Emily asked if that meant she could no longer go and play and other people’s houses after school and then cried when I said that maybe she might have to forgo that for a bit.

Anyway, all of these things seem to be situations where much wisdom is required, and in what is becoming a regular prayer for me, I pray that the wisdom I need would come from you.

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen