It’s just past lunchtime, Lord, so I am very late in getting to my prayer journal today, but the very fact I have managed it on a Saturday at all is significant.  I can’t express just how grateful I am for having a husband, knowing full well how many single mothers there are out there, and for being able to send the children his way for a change.  Having said this, I have discovered a rather strange phenomenon that happens in the weekends, and that is I find myself shouting more, rather than less.  I’m convinced Andrew must think I’m both useless and insane the way things seem to unfold over the weekends, but not only do there seem more disasters, I seem to cope with them less.

But I thought about it, and I’ve decided there aren’t any more disasters than there are in an average week day really, since both my children seem prone to an enormous quota of spills, breakages, fighting and carnage regardless of the day, but the difference is that from Monday to Friday they happen on my watch, and I’m the only one available to sort them out.  On Saturday and Sunday, I’ve suddenly got reinforcements, and I find myself yelling more in the hope that I’ll attract said reinforcement’s attention, and maybe, just maybe, escape from being the one that has to clean up for a change.

Probably, if I just asked for help, Andrew would come anyway.  Another of life’s many ironies.

We’re off to visit my parents this afternoon.  I pray we might be able to be good witnesses to them during the visit, that the children would be well behaved and that, more importantly, my parents would behave.  It’s probably too late to be praying that my mother be strongly dissuaded from baking some strange, experimental afternoon tea (during which process she will have used, but not washed, every single cooking utensil she owns), that Dad will find another subject than the wretched bypass and those blessed trees, that they would refrain from bickering with each other in front of my children, and that Andrew wouldn’t refuse to go there ever again on accounting of the million health and safety violations we might encounter.

All this I pray, in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Morning Lord!  A break in the clouds has happened and so we are off supermarket shopping.  I pray you would keep the children from fighting, provide us with a fantastic car park, and temper Nathan’s enthusiasm for handbag investigation.

That’s week one of the holidays over, Lord.  I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you invented weekends.  I pray you would sustain me through the second week and that we would have a relaxing weekend.

I’m off now, to make hay while the sun quite literally shines.

Thank you for your love…Amen

More rain, Lord.  Wet washing and bored children everywhere.  Signs of sanity – none.  I’m tempted to pack the kids in the car and just go to mall and wander aimlessly around for an hour or two – but every other mother in town will have had the same thought, there won’t be a car park free within two square kilometres, the kids will only want to spend money we don’t have, and my father gives me the guilts if I so much as take them in the vicinity of one of those cheap shops where everything costs $2.  Landfill shops, he calls them, and with good reason.  Pretty much everything you buy there does end up at the rubbish dump, often before it’s even reached home.  Emily wants to play Monopoly, but she doesn’t really understand the rules at six, and Nathan finds keeping his paws off all the pieces so they stay where they are supposed to more temptation than he can bear.

I pray it might be fine tomorrow because the pantry is rapidly being depleted and a trip to the supermarket will be a priority by then, but I don’t relish the prospect of going in the pouring rain there either.

Diana called this morning (as you well know!) suggesting I get involved with Sunday School.  She trotted out about Daniel’s desire that we all get more involved in the church and suggested that Sunday School might be just the thing for me.  Plus she implied, without actually saying so, that it was high time she had some help since Nathan was a handful and was taking up too much of her time.

What was I supposed to say to her, Lord, apart from what I did say – that I would think about it?  Problem is I don’t need to think about it.  I couldn’t be less keen if I tried.  For starters, it always seems ironic that, at the time in your life when you are knee deep in children and desperate for any sort of break (not to mention spiritual input) is just the time when you become the prime candidate for being involved in a children’s ministry.  And, what’s more there doesn’t seem to be a legitimate excuse for saying no, especially when I know Nathan is a handful.

Also, just between you and me, Lord, I don’t know if I could work with Diana.  I know she is dedicated, but I get the impression she wishes we all (you included!) more fully recognised her contribution and appreciated her more.  I know she’s been through a lot of loss – her husband, her parents, both her siblings all gone, and even her children have moved overseas which is another sort of loss.  I just don’t think I could cope with more needs, Lord.

What Nathan really needs, of course, is more of a crèche than Sunday School, something better suited to his age and stage.  Problem is, there’s just no way of suggesting such a thing without being drafted in as just the person to run it.  We need a bigger congregation, Lord, and then I’m sure more would get done.

I’ve just realised the children are ominously quiet, Lord.  Better go.

In Jesus’ name I pray…Amen.

Morning Lord….it’s pouring with rain and freezing cold, so I’ve got the fire going and the kids watching a movie we rented yesterday.  Time for five minutes for me (and you) and a chance to pray.  I must say without the usual school and kindy routine it is much harder to find the time to pray.  There’s always some interruption or another.  But, here we are half way through the first week and I am still alive to tell the tale.

It’s been a funny couple of days, though.  Andrew worked late last night (surprise, surprise) so the day seemed endless.  I pray that this current time of stress at work would come to an end soon.  It seems very unfair that his company would make a couple of people redundant and then expect those remaining to pick up the slack without compensating them for it.  As I think I have said to you before, Lord, it seems to me as though they are trading off the back of fear, knowing that those remaining have a vested interest to work hard and keep quiet lest they themselves fall victim to the axe.  I pray you would help Andrew make good decisions about what he does and allow him to take his family into consideration too.

We met Caroline, Faith, Trinity and Christian at Wonderworld yesterday.  Of course it was totally packed as these indoor playlands always are during the school holidays – and all the more when it is wet and cold outside.  Thankfully the children had a great time, although I must say that Christian was no better behaved than he was at Faith’s birthday.  What is it with that boy?  He’s like a whirlwind, wanting to do his own thing without any regard for anyone else.  Even one of the supervising staff members had to tell him off at one point.  It’s like he’s living in his own universe.  Caroline acted as though nothing was wrong and seemed to smooth everything over – if it had been me I would have gone crazy.  As usual it just goes to show what a lousy mother I am.

Anyway, Lord, better go before my conscience about leaving the children parked in front of the television starts getting the better of me.  I bet Caroline never lets her kids watch t.v at all!

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen.

Afternoon, Lord.  Feeling rather remiss about not only missing church, but also not getting around to my prayer journal yesterday or today so far.  I’ve managed to sneak a quiet five minutes or so while Andrew has the kids outside ‘helping’ him in the garden so I wanted to check in with you.

I hope you don’t mind about us not going to church today, Lord.  We don’t really have an excuse apart from the fact that there is no proper Sunday School programme in the holidays, which means the kids have to sit through the service, the stress of which completely negates any spiritual benefit so that you’re better off staying home and not wading into further sin.

Caroline called to say she went on her own.  Apparently they decided the children weren’t in the best mood to go (imagine!  I thought they were perfect) and Logan didn’t really want to go either, so she thought she’d go on her own.  By all accounts, Daniel gave a rousing talk about how we all need to be more involved.  He’s going to be actively encouraging participation in church ministries.

To be honest, Lord, I’m not sure what to do with this idea.  I feel as though I already have my hands full with the children let alone taking on anything else.  I know there are these odd wonder women around that do this, and do that, and are on this committee and on that committee, but I’m not one of them, Lord.  Not only am I not one of them, I don’t want to be one of them.

I’m happy to pray, Lord, now that I’m into this, but I know I’m a person of little talent.  I’m sure there’s nothing I could add value to, just in case you were thinking of asking me.

Oh, here’s Nathan, covered in mud from head to toe.  Must dash…

Amen

Morning Lord!  Thank you for this new day and for the fact that Andrew’s birthday is over.  I might have known that Claire would call and invite us around, meaning that I didn’t even have to cook.  Thank you too that the fact that it was a weekday night meant we couldn’t stay late because of the children.  I always appreciate an excuse to limit the agony and time for potential disaster to as short a time as possible.  Thankfully, Nathan managed to behave himself. Again, no Ashley, though.  She was working and couldn’t get the time off – or so Claire said.

Now I need to mentally prepare myself for the school holidays.  Two weeks of not having to zing out of bed and make lunches, organise both kids to be out of the door on time and be ready to face the day by eight thirty in the morning.  That’s the good bit.  Two weeks of trying to keep the children entertained in the middle of winter – that’s the trade off.

It would be nice to be jetting across the Tasman for two weeks in Australia – a bit of sun, sea and surf somewhere in the far north where it will be lovely and warm would be simply marvellous, but of course we can’t afford it.  I have kept waiting for Caroline to announce where they are off to, but even the Wests seem to be staying put this holidays.

So, Lord, I pray right here and now for some sunny days and for my sanity.  Be with me, I pray…Amen.

Andrew’s birthday today, Lord!  Thank you for him and for this day.  I know I moan about him sometimes, but I do appreciate all the things he brings into my life and I thank you for our marriage and for him as a person.  I feel horribly unprepared, though.  I haven’t booked to take him out for dinner, haven’t planned anything special.  I haven’t even bought him a present!    I pray for some inspiration as to what to get him and won’t think about the fact that what he probably needs and wants more than anything is just some time to himself.

It’s Cameron’s birthday too, Lord.  Funny to think of them both turning five on the same day and meeting on their first day of school.  Funny to think of all those experiences they shared over the years that I wasn’t a part of.  It certainly makes me feel yet again as though I don’t really want him to come back into our lives.  I do feel bad for feeling this way, Lord, but I’d be lying if I said I was joyously happy about it.  Yet, at the same time I get the feeling this is what is meant to be, so I will just commit this situation to you, Lord, and will try very hard to extend a welcome to him.  Bless him this day, Lord, wherever and whatever he might be doing.

I’ve also realised this is the last day Nathan will be at kindy for the term.  School holidays are looming!  Help me make the most of my last afternoon of peace for two weeks, Lord.

In the name of Jesus I pray…Amen