It’s evening, Lord, and I’m about to go to bed so I guess I’m not in the best, most lively mood right now, but I am determined not to let the day go by without spending some time with you.  I can see this will be a real challenge over the course of the next week as Linley has evidently abandoned any pretence of looking for a job since, according to her, it is just too close to Christmas and no one is thinking about hiring or firing at all.  Thus, she will be hanging around day and night with nothing to do and no place (other than here) to do it in.

Anyway, as you know, Linley was then promptly proven wrong on one score as Jess turned up in floods of tears to say that she had been fired from her job – although I guess ‘fired’ is the wrong word really because the entire café is closing down and everyone will be out of a job by the end of the week.  This is even more terrible news than the fact that Linley lost her job because a) Linley brought some of the ensuing chaos on herself by frivolous living and b) Linley is on her own and has no dependants to take care of.  These two points were entirely missed by Linley, who tried to imply that Jess had nothing to worry about in comparison to what she, Linley, had been through.  Truly, I do love Linley, but if she gets any more selfish there may be no redeeming her.

Thankfully Jess’s rent is paid up two weeks in advance so her immediate accommodation needs are not in danger, and she has been promised to be paid out in full at the end of the week (I pray this might be so!) but it was hard to see Jess so distraught.  Of course I then asked about their plans for Christmas (they had none) so have invited them to come and join us (eek!) after which Jess seemed so heartened that she took herself off with a much greater sense of hope than when she arrived.  This made me feel very guilty, Lord, on account of how little it took to make her happy and how much I regretted extending the invitation the moment it popped out of my mouth.

Anyway, Lord, all I can do is commit Jess and Madison to you and pray that you would provide their needs, and most especially provide a new job.  As Linley rather cruelly (and crudely) pointed out in front of Jess it is a crap time of year to be looking for a job since so many businesses close for a couple of weeks to enjoy the summer.  And, Lord, I pray you would work on my heart and help me be glad to have offered somewhere for them to go at Christmas rather than panicky and regretful.  And, Lord, help me find the right words to tell Andrew!

All of today was in such sharp contrast to church yesterday where everything was sweetness and light and somehow so removed from the realities of day to day living for many people.  Sarah (with her Missions hat on) tried to make a point of this by hanging up graphic posters of emaciated children in central Africa which deeply offended Claire as being entirely inappropriate, while at the other extreme, Abigail dressed like a Christmas show pony and could easily have been mistaken as a Christmas tree by someone slightly poor of sight.  Yet, if nothing else, the mood at church was hope-filled and it isn’t as if our sad world couldn’t use a bit more of that.

Help me make sense of this crazy world, Lord, and my place in it!  I pray all in your mighty name…Amen.

A very quick prayer time before church this morning Lord, as we seem to be running later than we usually do in term time.  Funny how, as I said yesterday, lack of routine plays havoc with things that involve you.  Maybe that’s one reason why you instituted only one day of rest a week and not more!  One thing is for sure, it makes me very pleased that you don’t go on holiday…even though you deserve a break more than all of us put together.

I’m not expecting to be overly challenged at church this morning as it will be the usual pre-Christmas carol service.  Don’t get me wrong, I do like this, but it can be easy to sing the words that we all know so well and completely forget the reason for the season.  If anything, I pray today for a glimpse of what Christmas is really all about – you coming to earth to seek and save the lost.  It’s just a shame these days that so few people realise just how lost they truly are.

Speaking of which, I tried to invite Linley to come with us this morning, sold it as a ‘safe’ carol service, but there seems no convincing her that it would be nice in any way, shape or form.  Personally, I think she’s afraid coming to church at all might challenge her to think differently about her priorities and the way she lives her life (which it very well might) and that’s a risk she’s just not prepared to take.  So, Lord, I commit her into your hands and do pray for her salvation.  I’ve been so busy praying for her to find a job (and thus find her feet and the door) that I realise I’ve neglected to pray for the one thing she needs the most – you!

Anyway, bless our time at church today, Lord, and as I say, give us all a glimpse of you this day…in your name…Amen

Morning Lord!  I told Andrew last night – in no uncertain terms – that I deserved a sleep-in this morning so he has dutifully got up to get the kids their breakfast and most probably deal with Linley as well.  Bless his little cotton socks!  No sign of a job for Linely yet, Lord.  I mean I know we have been through some tough economic times but if the financial commentators keep saying things are on the up, why is this not translating itself into jobs for the willing?

Sorry about not making it to the prayer journal yesterday, Lord.  The first day of having the children home from school turned my usual routines into chaos.  I suspect it will take a few days before we find a new rhythm – although then it will be Christmas, and then New Year – so I guess I will have to abandon all thought of rhythm and just go with the flow.  This, I find, is not conducive to spending quality time with you!

Having the children home reminds me of how dependent they are on us as parents and how they look to us for so much even though they like to think of themselves as independent.  It got me thinking how much we are like that with you, Lord.  We all need to realise that dependence is a natural part of being a child and that we are your children, Lord.  Of course this does not mean I do not want my children to grow up and mature – and I’m sure it’s the same for you, Lord.  There’s also that funny dynamic that the more independent a person gets the less they want to obey what those in authority say – so growing up, maturing and remaining obedient becomes challenging when our nature wants to be independent, grow away and ultimately be disobedient.  Maybe that’s why the crucial ingredient in the whole dependence and obedience equation is that we need to rely on you working in and through us to make it possible.

Anyway, that’s enough pop psychology for one morning.  I’m feeling rather random in my thoughts today!  I had better not fake sleep for too much longer otherwise I will run out of credit in the favours-with-ones-husband department.

Bless our day together, Lord….Amen

Well here we are Lord, the last day of term!  The last day of freedom (such as it is) for six weeks – until the children go back to school at the beginning of February.  I must say that in spite of everything I’m feeling quite pleased it’s the holidays.  The children are a bit tired around the edges and I think we are all looking forward to Christmas – plus we have our holiday away in January that will hopefully be wonderful.

Nathan has a party at kindy this afternoon, and also a graduation of sorts since from next year he will start kindergarten five mornings a week.  Emily finishes school at twelve-thirty so I think I will take her out for a special little lunch, even if it is nowhere more exciting than the Golden Arches restaurant!  Linley wants to know what she’s supposed to do on her own and I couldn’t help sarcastically saying,  “Job hunting”.  But really, I think she’s quite old enough to take care of herself for an afternoon.

So, Lord, I pray for your hand of blessing on today and pray that you would help both of our children have a fun time.  I know Emily is upset about the idea of finishing up with Miss Hollis (Educational Goddess) so I pray you would comfort her.  We should find out who her teacher for next year is today – I suppose it’s a little late in the day for me to start praying for a good one!?!  I also pray for Nathan, that you would keep Andrea out of his hair so he can have a good time, and I also pray you would help him to not give in to the temptation to act on any ‘good’ ideas he might have over the course of the afternoon.

I pray all in your mighty name…Amen

Morning Lord.  I’m doing the old hide-in-the-bathroom thing at the moment since I want to try and spend just a little time with you today in spite of having Nathan home, Linley home and a whole heap to do with Christmas now only nine days away.  Nine days!  How am I ever going to be ready?

Thank you for the news that Bryce is doing a little better.  There seems no doubt he will pull through, although to what I’m not sure.  Cameron said the experts at the hospital are trying to get to the bottom of whether the overdose was accidental or deliberate but that Bryce is being very vague about the whole thing.  Cameron said to him it’s a bit of a moot point – taking drugs recreationally is just another way of killing yourself anyway – it just takes longer.  So, Lord, I continue to pray for your healing hand and that some sort of long term help could be found for Bryce to get him out of this bad place he has ended up in.

Meanwhile, Andrew has invited Cameron to come to us for Christmas – which, if Linley is still around (and I very much suspect she will be), makes the four of us, the four grandparents, Linley and now Cameron – and possibly even his new girlfriend.  If they all come that will be eleven of us.  Hmm.  Oh, plus Ashley and maybe her new boyfriend.  That would be thirteen.  That’s sounding more baker’s nightmare than baker’s dozen to me.

And even more meanwhile, could I just say at this point that Linley is driving me a little crazy?  She’s forever picking holes in my mothering, not always verbally, but just with little looks of disapproval or with tuts of remonstrance if I so much as let either of them off the hook over the simplest of misdemeanours.  I mean, I know I was guilty of judging other mothers before I had my own children, but surely I was never this bad?  How quickly you learn that motherhood is all about making the best choices for your children, not the right choices for you, and how you really have to be sure that the hill is worth dying for before wading into battle over it.

It reminded me of something Caroline said last week when we had our very brief telephone conversation.  She said one thing she was daily learning was how the weight of expectations of others was the most difficult thing to deal with where Christian was concerned.  She said she had never realised just what a huge role expectation plays in our lives, and that people could be so unjust by having expectations that were just too unrealistic and too judgmental.  I’m beginning to see how right she is about that.

So, Lord, I pray for your patience to work in and through me and for your wisdom with Linley and with the children – to know what to say to them and when – for the best.  Funny how I’ve lumped Linley in with the children, but where motherhood is concerned she’s as innocent as a babe in arms!

In your name I pray…Amen

Lord, I come before you today feeling a bit troubled on account of Cameron – or more to the point on account of Cameron’s lost soul brother Bryce, who (as you know) was found yesterday having taken a drug overdose.  Miraculously he is still alive, but it’s all so very upsetting.  When Cameron called yesterday evening to say he was at the hospital and would like us to pray for Bryce I just about cried even though I have never met Bryce, not in all these years.  So, Lord, I continue to ask for your hand to be on both Bryce and Cameron and that you would put your healing hand on not only Bryce’s broken body but on his broken soul as well.

Of course Andrew went straight up to the hospital to offer what support he could to Cameron.  Andrew said he had never seen Cameron so low, even though he understands more than anyone what demons have driven his brother to this bad place.  It’s a terrible world, Lord, in many ways, and I know how little we are really exposed to some of the horrors that go on, living as we do in our reasonably safe middle class world.  Andrew did say it was encouraging, in spite of everything, to see Cameron wanting to reach out to you, Lord.  I pray that you would continue to nurture Cameron and bring him into a closer relationship with you.  Thank you for the privilege of being able to walk with Cameron at this time.

I lift this whole situation before you, Lord, and trust your hand would be firmly on it…in your name I pray…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  Well, I have the house to myself as Linley is supposedly out job hunting.  I certainly hope she is!  Anyway, it is good to have this opportunity to spend some time with you without feeling guilty about leaving her on her own or having to sneak away to get some peace and quiet.

Thank you for the blessings of the weekend and for church yesterday, especially the fact that both my darlings seem to have behaved themselves at the end of year Sunday School morning tea.  It was interesting to hear Daniel’s teaching on John 8 where you continued to challenge people’s perceptions about God, faith and our own sense of where we stand in between.  It seems as though a good word to describe how people ended up after your encounters with them might be ‘confounded’.  No matter how hard people tried to put you in a box, you eluded them.  No matter how hard they tried to justify themselves, you gained the upper hand.

Yet amongst some very self-righteous people are great examples – such as the adulterous woman – who you did not condemn but instead encouraged to make new and different choices.  These were people that never pretended to be anything other than what they were.  Daniel challenged us to think about who we would more closely identify ourselves with – the Pharisees, who upheld the letter of the law but of whom you were critical – or the adulteress, who broke the law but for whom you did not condemn but instead gave a second chance?  Most thought provoking.

It made me realise that I’m just as guilty of not only trying to put you in a box, but myself in one too.  I continue to pray that you would lead and guide me towards a clearer understanding of you.  I continue to thank you for my salvation and to pray for the salvation of my children.  I continue to pray for Caroline and Logan, that you would be with them as they come to grips with caring for Christian.  I continue to pray for Linley, that even at this very moment you would be finding her a job!

Thank you for your love…Amen

Just getting ready for church, Lord, and want to check in with you – to give you thanks and praise for who you are and what you have done for us – and to thank you for my salvation.  I pray you would forgive me my sin and cleanse me from all unrighteousness for your namesake – and that you would speak to us today from your word.  Be with Daniel as he comes to speak to us, and be with Diana today too, Lord, as she takes Sunday School.  It’s the end of year break up party and we’ve been asked to take along some food to share for morning tea – and chances are, the second those food colourings hit the bloodstream – she’ll need all the help she can get.

Thank you for a good night last night.  The food was lovely, and Andrew and I had a really nice time out.  I got to catch up with some of the other wives who I only see every staff function so that was enjoyable – well, except for one woman, that is.  You know the one I mean – the one who raves on about her fantastic life, but never once asks a single question about yours.  By the end of the evening I always feel as though I could write a dissertation on her life while she’d struggle to fill up the back of a postage stamp about me.  Of course I am just a little mumsie at home, while she has an important and glamorous career.  What could I possibly have to say that would be of interest?

No sign of Linley this morning, although her car is parked out the front so I assume she is home.  Wherever she went, she was out very late!

Anyway, Lord, be with our little family today I pray, in your precious name…Amen

Morning Lord!  Another Saturday morning when I’ve got Andrew and Linley engaged in a conversation, then snuck off!  Works a treat.  And while they are busy debating the merits or evils of Capital Gains Tax, I’m going to spend some time with you.

Sorry I missed yesterday.  As you know Dad phoned up to say he was feeling a bit grandson deprived so I took him over, then left him there, before dashing to the shops to conquer some of the things I need to do before the kids finish school next week.  Next week!  Boy the year has gone fast.  Thankfully, I managed to find quite a lot of stuff on my list, including some gifts for the kindergarten teachers and something for Miss Hollis (Educational Goddess).  Already Emily is fretting about who she might get for a teacher next year.  One thing is certain, whoever they are will have to work pretty hard to convince Emily they are worthy of her affection.  Miss Hollis may have ruined Emily for life where other teachers are concerned.

Andrew and I are off to his Christmas work function tonight.  No doubt when I go to get dressed I will have a fashion crisis and be unable to find anything that is remotely flattering to wear (especially since the average age of the females at his work seems to be about nineteen, the average bust size twice that, and the average skirt length half that), and no doubt I will not want to go at all when the time comes, but it is a night out, and it is a chance to eat out.  How bad could that be?

Finding a babysitter has been a bit of a nightmare.  I still am reluctant to ask Dad even though he’s had the all-clear (and besides, he was a lifesaver yesterday – enough’s enough), William and Claire are off to some boring retired bank managers’ do, and Linley (who is obviously the perfect candidate as she is living here and has no money to go out) suddenly had a prior engagement.  Yeah, right.

Thankfully Ashley was happy to be prevailed upon even though it is Saturday night and she wasn’t working – surely the prime time to be going out on a date with her international man of mystery – but apparently he was fine about it – which sounds highly suspicious to me.  But then, what do I know?

So Lord, I pray that you would bless our evening tonight, be with Ashley while she looks after the children, bless her for giving up an evening with her new man, and have your hand on that relationship.  Why I feel so suspicious I don’t quite know, so I pray you would save her from hurt, Lord.

I pray in your name…Amen