Well, Lord, here we are, New Year’s Eve and also, as the television commentators keep reminding us all, the end of the first decade of the twenty first century.   I’m not sure how a whole decade could have slid by so fast, but apparently it has.  I must say that I just did not see that coming at all.  It was obvious when we moved decades from the eighties into the nineties and the nineties into the new millennium.  Somehow, though, this one has taken me by surprise.

I must say I find the concept of a New Year quite a fascinating one.  I mean, really, tomorrow is just tomorrow.  Yet for many people tomorrow isn’t just tomorrow – it’s a new beginning, a chance to start again, an opportunity to put bad stuff behind them and have the slate wiped clean.  Many will make resolutions they have every intention to fulfil, and half of them will have failed within a week.  But, it’s a new year, and that makes everything all right.

I wonder if this is not in fact indicative of our intrinsic need for a real new start – the sort that is only found in you, and in your salvation.  Maybe our psychological need for a new start is yet another reflection of the bigger picture of life that so many people miss these days now that the concept of you is out of fashion, or worse, dismissed as nothing more than a fairy story.

Anyway, whatever, it seems clear that the idea of New Year is making me philosophical.  It could well be that I am more affected this year because so many around me are so in need of this new start.  Linley in her need for a new job, Caroline in need of so many things, her girls in need of someone to make sense of life and Christian in need of healing.  Then there’s Mum and Dad who constantly need to start over with one another, and my own children who in their own way both need to make fresh starts when school and kindergarten go back.  Jess also needs a new job.  And then there’s Claire and William both needing new personalities.  Sadly, though, the personality transplant hasn’t been invented yet.  The list goes on…

So, Lord, I just want to give my thanks and praise to you for another year – a year that has seen me take a big leap forward in my relationship with you thanks to the small but inspiring idea of the prayer journal.  Thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed upon us, both seen and unseen, and for all our family and friends with pressing needs I pray you would extend your hand to them, bless them and provide for them.

I pray all in your mighty name…Amen

Just a quick prayer time again, Lord, since it’s still a public holiday today so Andrew is home, the sun is shining and the beach is calling.

Hopefully this will be a recipe for a happy family day away from the stresses and strains of everyday life, Lord, especially for Andrew who is a little down this morning.  He’s got to go back to work tomorrow for the rest of the week, then three days next week before we set off on our holiday and I think he’s nursing a bad case of dashed expectations as it appears he thought the last few days would be a happy and relaxed family time.  Of course in reality it was a couple of days filled with drama, none of which was of our making (unless you count foolishly asking people to spend Christmas with us), not to mention the constant presence of Linley.

Andrew complained about having no time to himself (join the club, I say….I’ve got a jacket!), Ma and Pa Copeland making him feel like he’s not master of his own destiny and always wanting a say in what we do and how, not to mention Linley making him feel like he’s not king of his own castle with her snide remarks and ongoing criticisms.  He also confessed, in spite of his defence of them, that he’s not really sure about Cameron and Ashley and can’t help feeling uneasy on her part given Cameron’s dodgy track record.  I think, on reflection, he is concerned that neither of them were open with us about this relationship from the outset, and what that might mean.

So, Lord, once again I lift all to you in your mighty name, being confident that you can make sense of all of this.  Bless our time together today, Lord.  Be with and comfort Caroline.  Have your hand on Cameron and Ashley (and Cameron’s brother who I hear is a little better, but not much) and more than everything I pray for my lovely husband that you would restore his equilibrium and grant him rest….Amen

No church for us today, Lord, but that doesn’t mean you’re forgotten.  I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I’m actually pleased to not be going since that reduces the chance of seeing Claire and William to zero.  I’m afraid they are enough to take the shine off any Christmas, even a chaotic one like ours.  Of course they were on the phone for at least an hour yesterday, tearing strips off Andrew for being so thoughtless as to host a Christmas where strangers were invited, for allowing his wife (little old me!) to serve an unconventional meal (for Pete’s sake it wasn’t that unconventional, and this is New Zealand after all where plenty of people don’t do the traditional hot meal thing anyway but go to the beach and have a barbecue), for his lack of parenting skills by letting our children overeat, talk back and express their own opinions (I thought they were great yesterday!) and for even having been friends with Cameron, thus introducing him to Ashley, thus encouraging a relationship that they would never, in a zillion years, approve of.

It was interesting to hear Andrew rebut this tirade and I will be the first to admit that he did a sterling job of defending our decision to invite those in need to be with us (quoting some lovely Scripture), defending the Christmas meal (and reminding them they could be living somewhere in the world where such a dinner would only be a dream), praising the children for how well they managed, and suggesting we all give Cameron and Ashley a bit of breathing space to see how things develop rather than making snap judgements.

I was pleased to hear him say all of these things and that he is prepared himself to give Cameron and Ashley some space.  I was a little fearful he would be vehemently opposed to the relationship given Cameron’s chequered past – but I think we all see the change in him brought about by a growing relationship with you (and Ashley) so I think the least we can all do is simply pray that you would have your hand on them and that you would draw them both closer to you as they both draw closer to each other.

I do wonder, though, Lord, why life has to be quite so chaotic.  It just feels to me as though everything is topsy-turvy for so many people we know that it’s quite overwhelming.  I pray for each and every one of our friends and family (okay, even Ma and Pa Copeland) and pray you would work in each of our lives and provide our needs, and that you would make sense of each of the confusing circumstances that some have found themselves in.  I pray in your holy name…Amen

Well, as predicted, I did not get anywhere near my prayer journal yesterday, but as you know I did send my verbal prayer of thanks to you as I stumbled into bed last night, grateful for the Christmas gift of you, but mostly grateful that the day was over.  Now I’m up early and ready to have a bit of a mind-dump even though I know you already know exactly what happened.

I suppose if I had to choose just one word to sum up Christmas it would be ‘chaotic’, but my second word would definitely be ‘shocking’!  In the end Mum and Dad and Ma and Pa Copeland came first, at about eleven o’clock and we had a reasonably sedate morning tea and present opening session, at the end of which Andrew informed them that the Christmas meal would be a little bit delayed and a little bit more casual than they were used to on account of the fact that we were expecting another ten people to arrive at about half past twelve, and that lunch would be some time after that once everyone was settled.  Claire’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline at this announcement while William stammered like an asthmatic bull and demanded to know who was coming and what on earth would be served.  Mum made tutting noises, and the only one to look pleased was Dad who suggested something along the lines of “the more the merrier”.  All the while Linley hung around on the sidelines smirking at every little nuance and enjoying it all more than a royal variety performance.

Jess and Madison were the first to arrive, Jess coming as predicted in Goth black while Madison came wearing a distinctly hand-me-down dress that would have looked lovely on its first wearing in 1927, but that had clearly had a hard life ever since.  Jess produced some dubious looking organic wine that made William (a self-confessed wine buff) look ill with fear.  When Jess sat down beside him and starting making conversation I thought he was going to have an apoplexy.

Caroline turned up next with her three children, Faith looking cross, Trinity dreamy, and with Christian screaming at the top of his lungs.  Caroline looked done in and promptly burst into tears at which point I had to abandon all hope of getting stuck in to lunch preparations to take her off to my room and comfort her, while Andrew tried his best to placate Christian and organise the girls who all stood around looking awkward and not best pleased to be together.  Thankfully Dad intervened with Christian and took him off to the office, found him a Thomas the Tank Engine dvd, and some sense of peace was restored.

Andrew made Linley take over from me so that at least lunch preparations were back on track but next thing the girls had a huge fight over something (I really could not get to the bottom of what it was because none of them were saying so it had to be very bad) so they all had to be sorted out.  Meanwhile William was muttering about where his lunch was, Mum’s offering to help in the kitchen (over my dead body) and Claire seemed to have taken an omnious vow of silence for which I could only be extremely grateful.

Then the doorbell went again, right when I figured we already had more than everyone on board and it turned out to be Cameron and Ashley, both without their partners.  I felt quite irrationally cross about this – rather than glad we were two members shy of the full party – since those old thoughts about not being good enough to meet came back to haunt me.  When I asked (rather rudely) where his girlfriend was and where her boyfriend was and they said, “Right here,” it took me a full twenty seconds to solve that equation:  that they are each other’s girlfriend and boyfriend; Cameron and Ashley; dating one another; behind our backs; not having said a word.  In fact maybe shock is too mild a word!

However my shock was nothing compared to the reaction from Claire and William, which most people missed on account of the fact that they were in public and were tied by the tresses of convention to not Make a Scene in Front of Others, although I could tell Claire was sorely tempted and William was already warming the car up in his head, planning a quick getaway.  I could tell Andrew wasn’t sure whether to be angry or pleased either.

Ashley’s arrival actually proved to be a blessing in disguise as she was a wonderful help in the kitchen and it also gave us a chance to talk, and from all that I saw yesterday I do think she and Cameron make a nice couple and that, in their own way, both will be good for one another.  Time will tell, I suppose.

Then, at two-thirty, much later than planned, we all sat down to enjoy our Christmas meal together, all of us in various states of disrepair but together nonetheless.  Of course just at the crucial time, James and Jasmine also turned up and room had to be found for them since James was more than happy to eat yet another Christmas dinner, but even their arrival was a welcomed distraction.  On top of this Trinity gave us all a lovely piano recital (once she’d found ours under its five tons of dust) that was truly impressive but which made Caroline cry.  I hope, wherever he was, that Logan was served dry bread and water and was made to feel like a jerk.  Fat chance I suppose, and perhaps not the most Christian thought I’ve ever had.

So that was our Christmas, Lord.  A buffet of chaos, with a dessert of shock, a lot of hard work, and some dashed expectations, but also some good things too.  For better or for worse these are our people, Lord, and I thank you for each and every one of them, and pray that you would work in each of their lives for your good and bless them.  I can only hand the whole lot over to you Lord…Amen

Christmas Day!  In place of the usual post today I wanted to take this opportunity to wish you, my readers, a most happy and blessed Christmas and all the very best for 2010!  I hope you are enjoying this daily blog about the faith and family life of Francesca Copeland and friends!

Christmas is a wonderful time but it can also be a time that causes us sorrow as we miss loved ones.  I pray that you would know the amazing grace of God this Christmas, be surrounded by his love, and remember above all, that Jesus is the reason for the season.

If you want to know more about me or my book Mothering Heights:  A Novel Approach for Christian Mothers please do check out the main website under www.motheringheights.org

With warm regards…

Keitha Smith

Well, here we are, Christmas Eve…

The presents are wrapped, the fridge is groaning with more food than its ever encountered before, the shops are officially shut, the kids are hyped and can’t sleep – not just because they’re so excited about what might happen tomorrow but because it’s very warm tonight.  I think we’ll all have trouble sleeping due to the heat.  Oh the joys of a New Zealand Christmas!  Meanwhile it seems as though the entire Northern Hemisphere is blanketed in more snow than has ever been seen this side of Christmas.

Getting to this point today – to be as ready as I can be for the onslaught that will be coming our way tomorrow – has been a bit like climbing Mount Everest.  However, Libby turned out to be the most wonderful Sherpa Tensing and had lots of good advice about en masse catering and was also a great help with the Caroline situation.  Of course she was so organised she was able to drop everything yesterday and get around to Caroline’s house and at least be another shoulder to cry on.  Thank you for the blessing of friendship and fellowship, Lord, and for the blessing even the most unlikely person can be to another.  When I think of how aloof and superior Libby seemed to me way back when, it makes me feel a bit ashamed of judging the proverbial book by its cover.

Anyway, Lord, who knows what will transpire tomorrow, or even who will turn up.  As you know, Mum called to say that she’s not happy that she may not see James and Jasmine at all tomorrow – some story from James about him hating the sight of Claire and William and how he would rather have bamboo shoots implanted under his fingernails than willingly spend time with them – although in reality it is Jasmine’s birthday tomorrow (quite a day for a birthday!) and they are supposed to be spending the day with her family.

I wasn’t really expecting them if truth be told and couldn’t really tell where Mum was going with her comments until I realised she was considering boycotting our Christmas to make a point about her precious boy not feeling comfortable enough to come here.  I mean, really, does she not realise James will do what James wants to do, regardless of anyone else’s efforts on his behalf?  So, we will just have to wait and see if James or Jasmine, or in fact Mum, turn up at all.  By the time she talked to me I was so over the whole thing I couldn’t be bothered buying in to her drama.  Wild horses won’t keep Dad away so I’m sure all will be well in the end.

Besides, dealing with Mum will be nothing to dealing with Claire and William themselves since neither Andrew nor I have had the guts (or the chance) to tell Ma and Pa Copeland that they will be far from the royal guests of honour, and have more chance of being stomped on or used as a trampoline than they have of being waited on hand and foot.  Quite what they will make of it all I just don’t know.  I do hope I get to see the look on Claire’s face, though, when she meets Jess who is likely to come dressed in her usual off-duty Goth black!

So, I just want to pray that your hand would be on our family tomorrow (since I am unlikely to get to my prayer journal), that you would bless our family and all who enter our home, that the food would be sublime and that no one would be ridiculous, and that the children would all behave well as though their lives depended on it.  I also pray that amongst the presents, the eating and the fellowship that we would all be reminded about the most precious gift of all…and that’s you, Lord.  Thank you for coming to seek and save us!

Amen, Lord, Amen.

I’m awake early, Lord, and thought I would spend a quick amount of time with you before the day turns psycho and all hope of rational thought (not to mention rational action) will fly out of the window.  I awoke feeling rather panicked – although whether it was from dreaming about Caroline’s dire predicament or from the nightmare of worrying about how I’m going to feed so many people on Christmas Day – none of whom have the capacity to help – I’m not quite certain.

Poor Caroline.  In spite of my catering nightmares, my first thought really has to be for her and how terrible she must be feeling at the moment.  I bet it doesn’t even seem real – the same way you feel after someone unexpectedly dies – as though you are merely waiting for them to come through the door at any moment.  I’m still not quite sure what to do for her just yet, or even if there is anything I can do that would really make a blind bit of difference under the circumstances.  It occurred to me that I could send Linley around there today to give aid and succour, but on reflection that would be more of a curse than a kindness if her track record around this place is anything to go by.  I also thought I could do the opposite – leave Linley here with my kids and go myself – but that didn’t seem any more of a sensible idea either.

I could ask Andrew if there’s any possibility of him taking the day off so I could try and be all things to all people without dropping any of the balls, but he’s already told me how pushed he will be to finish his workload by Christmas Eve, so clearly that idea won’t be a flier.  As it is I think he’s almost reeling as much as I am by not only Logan’s desertion but by the sheer numbers of people coming to us on Friday.  My horror number of thirteen has been added to considerably what with Jess, Madison, Caroline, Faith, Trinity and Christian now coming – that’s eighteen people, Lord!  The most I’ve ever cooked for was ten and now that I think about it, that was hardly a resounding success.  And if, by some miracle James and Jasmine turn up, that would be twenty people!

I wonder what Siberia is like at this time of year?  Or Alaska, for that matter.

Oh, I’ve suddenly thought of Libby!  That’s what I’ll do…I’ll ring Libby.  I’m sure Caroline wouldn’t mind or think I was betraying a confidence if I told Libby since no one in the world could be more sensible or practical in a crisis.  She might even have some hot tips for mass catering while she’s at it!

I commit today to you and my crazy life and crazy friends and equally crazy family into your tender care…in Jesus’ name…Amen

Okay, Lord, just when I thought life couldn’t get any crazier it has taken its most very crazy turn for 2009.  Of all the things that I thought might happen today – what with the school holidays being on, it being a hot day, and with Linley mooching around – the very last thing I expected to have happen was Caroline turning up (with all three kids in tow) looking like a ghost and announcing, in the smallest of voices, that Logan had left her.  And not only has Logan left her on her own, with three children including one with autism, three days before what’s supposed to be the happiest day of the year, but he has left her for another woman – the lately decamped nanny no less!!  That girl can’t be more than twenty-two if she’s a day!!

Of course (as you know) chaos ensued following this ill-timed and unwelcomed revelation.  Caroline seemed to forget how to breathe and fainted dead away, Linley launched into a cutting diatribe that made full use of every proctology joke she could think of and used language not fit for the enraptured PGR audience before her, while all the children bar Christian burst into hysterical and uncontrollable sobbing, while Christian himself tore around the living room smashing every single thing he could lay his hands on.

At first I struggled to believe it myself since we have known Caroline and Logan for ever, and they have always been the model couple – rich, beautiful, successful – the sort of people for whom the good things of life just seemed to drop right into their laps.  Never in a million years would I have seen this coming – that Logan could be so spineless as to shirk his commitments, that he could be so heartless as to leave right before Christmas let alone at all, or that he could leave for someone as prosaic as the stupid nanny.  It is beyond comprehension and belief.

Yet Caroline’s face told me just how true it was, and besides, when I thought about it, the signs have been there for a while.  I guess I just thought that something would happen to improve the situation, not blow it completely out of the water.  How she is going to manage on her own I just don’t know, although from what she has told me over the past little while, she’s been effectively left to shoulder most of the responsibilities anyway.

At this point I must confess that I feel completely hopeless and helpless so can only appeal to you Lord to bring forth a miracle to fix this terrible situation although quite where the redemption should be I just don’t know.  In the interim I tried to suggest calling Caroline’s mother (who, as you know, is a lovely person) but Caroline was dead against it.  At that moment I saw how truly dire the situation is because in a way the whole of Caroline’s life has just crumbled.  She’s always tried so hard to be perfect at everything and the fact that she doesn’t want her family to know what has happened just yet is a testament to the fact that she has held a great deal of pride in her circumstances – and by admitting the failure of her marriage she will be admitting a whole lot more besides.  How easy it is to deceive ourselves, Lord!

This turn of events of course means that Caroline has nowhere to go for Christmas since she can hardly go to her family without a full confession so Linley quickly suggested she come here.  And since Caroline agreed with the sort of alacrity you only see in movies it was a done deal before I could even make so much as an “Erm…”

If I was to say to you that this all means I need every bit of heavenly help you can spare me, this would be an understatement.  Lord, I throw myself on your mercy.  Please intervene and provide me with either some serious help, some serious relief or some serious therapy.  I pray all in your mighty name…Amen