Morning Lord.  Well, here I am one week out from Emily’s birthday (and Dad’s) and feeling a horribly unprepared.  Granted, I did get the shopping out of the way yesterday, so Emily won’t be waking up to her birthday morning with no gifts, but Emily reminded me in no uncertain terms last night that I have done nothing towards organising a party.  I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, Lord, but the older the children get, the more my enthusiasm for birthday parties drains out of me.  The very thought of having a bunch of noisy, colour-fuelled, hyperactive and techno-savvy children roaming the house and stating that Emily’s party is boring somehow fails to make me want to rush and organise another.

Of course Emily’s suggestion is that we go to Fairy Esmerelda’s Grotto of Enchantment as we did back in June for Faith’s birthday – which meant some pretty fast excuse making on my part since a) you have to book that place months in advance and b) we most definitely can’t afford it – both of which sound pretty pathetic to the average almost-seven year old.  And so, I took the age-old “We’ll do something just as good” oath without having the slightest clue as to what that might entail.  Oh, and to top it off, Emily wants to invite her beloved Miss Hollis to the party since it wouldn’t be the same without her.  Miss Hollis would, of course, make a lovely replacement Fairy Esmerelda but I can’t picture having that conversation, so all I could do was explain that Miss Hollis couldn’t really come to her party since she’s a very busy lady, and that if she came to Emily’s party, she’d have to go to all the other children’s as well, to be fair, which wouldn’t make it special at all.  Of course then Emily was devastated to the point where she said that there wouldn’t be any point in having a dumb party if Miss Hollis couldn’t come so we’re back to square one.  Just as well I’m not a counsellor for window-ledge jumpers, Lord.  They’d all be doomed.

So, if you have any inspiration to spare, I’d really appreciate some!

Be with us all today, I pray…Amen

Morning Lord!  Here I am, in the morning, sneaking some time to spend with you while Nathan watches the new DVD my father bought him yesterday.  It seems they had a great time although both were a bit cagey about what they’d actually done together.  My father kept winking at Nathan and they fell about laughing a bit so who knows.  I was just glad to see them both smiling.

Bible Study was interesting.  As you know there were four other mothers there who I don’t know so well, plus Libby, plus Caroline, plus me, so that made seven of us.  It was pretty mental with all the kids running around, but Caroline and I at least helped bring down the average since Nathan was with Dad and Christian was home with the nanny.  It was just an introduction session, coffee and afternoon tea and a chance to chat – no scary Bible quizzes or pop tests thank goodness.  Also on the up side, we had a discussion and it was decided that Thursday afternoons would probably suit everyone better which is great because then I really don’t have to worry about what Nathan might do to shame me since he’ll be at kindy.  Next week we are going to talk about what the actual Bible Study side might entail so I’ve come away feeling not too bad about the whole idea – and without the ten hours of homework I pictured I might have.

Had a small conversation with Jess when she came and picked Madison up.  She’s heard on the grapevine that her ex husband Tony might be moving back to the city and Jess is clearly petrified by the very idea of it.  From the little she has confided in the past it is obvious she had to leave him in the first place because she feared for her very life.  I can’t say I feel in the slightest bit equipped to know what to say to her or what to advise, but I do pray you would have your hand on her and look out for her, Lord.

It’s Dad and Emily’s birthdays next week so I’m off this afternoon to see if I can find some presents for them.  Emily will be quite easy I suspect, but Dad much more difficult.  I don’t know why, but every time I think about what to get him I keep picturing a paper shredder – but with his luck Mum would get a hold of it and then all his paper war with the council could be gone in an instant, never to return again.

Better go…Amen

Well, here I am, Lord, at my prayer journal on a Wednesday – a most rare occasion.  However, Andrew has recovered and Dad called this morning to whisk Nathan off on another adventure.  I really don’t know how exciting it is likely to be for Nathan since Dad didn’t seem in that good of a frame of mind what with all the muttering about Mum and his petition.  It sounds as though the two of them are not speaking at the moment.  I truly don’t know what to do with them, Lord.  They are as bad as each other but for different reasons – my mother because she has gone beyond the pale where housekeeping is concerned (probably more to wind up my father than for any other reason) and my father because he drones on and on about this bypass thing and honestly appears to care more for the fate of those mangy trees than he does for my mother.

Of course what they both need is you, Lord.  I pray you would work in their lives so that they might come to know you.  I am neglectful in praying for their salvation – as I am with praying for the salvation of Emily and Nathan – so I trust them all into your hands.  I feel bad that I’m not a better example of you, Lord.  People talk about seeing Christians and noticing something different about them, but I’m sure that’s not the case where I’m concerned.

While I’m at it I also want to pray for Jess and Madison too, Lord.  Madison is coming home after school to play with Emily and when Jess called to see if that would be okay I got the distinct impression things aren’t going so well.  Be with them, Lord, and help them with the situation they find themselves in.  It must be very hard for Jess to be raising a child on her own with so little money to keep them going.

I’m off to my first Bible Study at Libby’s this afternoon (mercifully without Nathan) and I really don’t know what to expect.  Help me to not appear the world’s most ignorant Bible scholar!

I pray all in the mighty name of Jesus…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  Thought I’d take the opportunity to catch up with you while Andrew is asleep.  He didn’t have a very good night – said he felt like he was drowning.  In fact I could tell he was still very much alive on account of all the snoring so I don’t think he missed as much sleep as he thought he did.

I realised when I wrote my prayer journal yesterday that I had missed something out, that I had forgotten to talk with you (or write to you, as the case may be) about the message Daniel delivered on Sunday morning.  This time he talked on Ezra and how Ezra was a man who knew, understood and obeyed your word.  In turn Daniel explained that you had given Ezra wisdom, success and provision.  I thought to myself how nice those three things sounded and how I could benefit with a generous helping of all three.

Of course I was busy secretly congratulating myself on my improved spirituality since my prayer journaling has become a regular feature of my life, only to have Daniel remind me that we also need to be grounded in your word.  I have dust collecting on my Bible.

I was taken with a verse from Acts 17: “Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”  I would like to be of more noble character, Lord.  Help me to find time to read your word.  Maybe starting this new Bible Study group with Libby will help.  I sure hope so.

Help me to be more faithful to you, Lord.  Help me to be a better Christian.  I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen

P.S.  Please heal Andrew soon – for both our sakes!

Well, Lord, Monday afternoon is here but it isn’t the usual Monday afternoon because I still don’t have the house to myself.  After getting Emily and Nathan both better and back to the usual routine, Andrew has succumbed to this illness and as is busy dying in our bed.  Thankfully he seems to have taken the hint that my stint as a nurse is over, so isn’t being too demanding, even with man flu.

By the time we came home from the West’s yesterday Andrew was complaining he had a headache so I guess the writing was already on the wall by then, but I must say I was surprised when he announced he wasn’t well enough to go to work today.  Mind you, with the whole swine flu thing, businesses are asking their employees not to come to work if they have flu like symptoms, just to be on the safe side, which seems very big of them considering the fact that they spend the rest of the time working their employees into early graves.

I must say I had a bit of a headache after our lunch with Caroline and Logan myself.  Trinity gave a very long (but skilled) recital at Caroline’s insistence, Faith and Emily had a huge argument over which of them had the best father, Christian threw a huge temper tantrum when Nathan touched his Lego, and even Caroline and Logan had a funny, sniping conversation about whether to feed the children first or not.  It seemed as though every turn of the clock brought with it another slice of drama.

I can’t remember the last time I ever sae Caroline and Logan bicker.  Usually they are in such agreement about everything.  It’s nice to know they may be human after all.

So, Lord, I pray for Andrew and for your healing hand to be on him.  I pray that I would have the patience to deal with yet another patient!  I also pray I might be spared from becoming one myself since the whole family has now dropped like flies with this bug.

I pray all in the name of Jesus…Amen

A quick prayer of thanks, Lord, before we head to church.  It is so relieving to find Nathan well enough to go to church (and lunch).  I must remind myself to be more grateful for all that you have given us, Lord.  In fact, just having Sunday is a blessing – without that weekly reminder to stop and realign ourselves with you I’m not quite sure where we would be.

So, Lord, I pray you would once again forgive me for my many and plentiful sins, and make me new once more.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my salvation, Lord, because I know that if it was up to me, I’d never be able to save myself.

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen

It’s two o’clock in the afternoon and I’m hiding in my room with the door firmly shut, feeling both indignant and ashamed, Lord.  I’m indignant (and hence angry) because the whole family have been driving me crazy and I made sure Andrew understood it was high time he had a turn at the nursing duties.  I’m over the whole Florence Nightingale thing I’m afraid.  Nathan is a teeny bit better today and has insisted on being out in the lounge on the couch, firmly in command of the remote control, and he and Emily have argued all morning over who’s watching what on T.V.  Nathan has insisted he’s the sick one so he should get preferential treatment, while Emily says he’s had days to get better and it’s not her fault if he’s no good at getting well soon, and she doesn’t see why she should be punished for it.

Meanwhile Andrew seemed to pull off some sort of strange disappearing act, where the second there was any sort of trouble between the children he was mysteriously absent.  To top it all off he suggested he might just pop to the mall for a bit to have a look at a few things – at which point I suggested (none too politely) that if he wanted to look at a few things he could start by looking at the two most needy – namely Emily and Nathan.

So, I’m hiding, Lord, indignant, and yet at the same time ashamed because I have yet again demonstrated my woeful lack of motherhood skills.  It’s just hard to be a good mother when you’ve been cooped up for days at home with sick children, winter weather and one thousand tons of damp washing.  I can guarantee you, Lord, that no one with dewy eyes who pictures having children ever pictures them with runny noses, bad tempers and sneaking-off husbands.

Let’s hope Nathan improves again overnight as we are supposed to be going to Caroline and Logan’s tomorrow for lunch and I was really looking forward to having someone else wait on me for a change.

So, any more of those great healing powers that you can send Nathan’s way will be most appreciated, Lord…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  As you well know, Nathan is still sick, and unlike Emily doesn’t have signs of improving in a big hurry.  Trying to keep him resting and confined to his bedroom is proving to be a bit of a challenge so I pray you would provide your healing hand for him and help me to summon up the patience I need to deal with him.  He gets so grumpy when he isn’t well.

Some of us seem to manage being grumpy without any provocation at all, I find.  Take my mother for example.  I had her on the phone yesterday complaining that she feels criticised.  She says Dad has been having a go at her about her diabolical organising skills, saying that he’s fed up to the back teeth with living in an almost perpetual state of chaos.  Of course the crux of his complaint seems to revolve around that fact that some vital pieces of correspondence with the council have disappeared, surely one of the worst tragedies my father could picture.  If it is true he may well find them given a year or two since my mother absolutely never throws anything away – she prefers simply burying things alive in a ton of other stuff.

I said to her she should try having someone like Claire for a mother-in-law, who practically comes to visit wearing white gloves to do the ‘dust’ test.  Apparently this was not the correct response as what my mother really wanted was some sympathy, so then she accused me of siding with my father that, by its mere inference, meant that I was criticising her as well.  Sigh.

How is a person supposed to deal with their own issues and everyone else’s as well?  Doesn’t she appreciate that I have a sick boy on my hands and better things to do than to listen to her moan?  If she doesn’t want to be criticised about being messy surely she should be able to see that the clear solution is just not to be messy in the first place?

Give me strength, Lord, and protect me from other people’s baggage.  Better go…I can hear Nathan stirring…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  Well, it’s revolving sick beds in this house this week with Emily back at school today but Nathan now under the weather.  Thank you for the resilient health of children, Lord, and for your healing of Emily.  I pray you would help Nathan get better quickly too, Lord, since there’s obviously something in his masculine genetic makeup that makes him think he’s dying the way in the same way all males think they’re dying whenever they get any kind of illness.  I swear, if I gave that boy a bell to ring for when he needs anything, he’d ring it more often than Quasimodo.

I had a funny conversation with Andrew last night.  He had a very rare lunch with Ashley yesterday for some reason and he started talking to me about how he does see his parents’ point about Ashley, how he does feel concern for the fact that she hasn’t found a husband and settled down.  Of course I could have been reacting badly to the mere suggestion of him agreeing with his parents about something (anything!), but I was a bit harsh with him.  She seems happy and well adjusted away from her parents, with a good job and some nice friends (even Gretchen, although sheesh, would it kill that woman to smile now and again?) and having her stay here reminded me of what a great sense of humour she has.

I told him he had nothing to worry about, especially when compared to my brother James’s total lack of any substance in his life – apart from Jasmine that is.  At least Ashley keeps in touch with him, holds down a very responsible job, attends church and is happy.  All my brother does is avoid – he avoids work, responsibility, relationships and for all I know, the tax man as well.

Still, I suppose at least Andrew cares.  It’s so hard to know what to do with other people’s expectations though.

Once again I really wish I was wiser – maybe going to Libby’s Bible study will help me get that way.

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen