Morning Lord!  Time for a quick coffee in my favourite café, time for a quick catch up with you and then it’s off to the supermarket for me.  I suddenly realised last night that the shops will be closed on Friday and I will actually have to feed people.  In consequence I’ve made an enormous list (along with everyone else probably) so this time now will be a quiet oasis before the madness to come.  As usual when the general populous faces the prospect of the shops being closed things will be crazy.  I will no doubt have to fight for a car park, play trolley derby in the supermarket aisles, then stand for a good half an hour in an interminable queue at the check out before I get to go home and unpack all my new purchases.

Of course I have also yet to buy any Easter Eggs for the children which I will do even though I’m not so keen on the commercialism of it all.  If nothing else it does give the opportunity for us to talk with the children about the meaning behind some of the symbolism of Easter.  It’s also nice to see them so excited.  Excitement of a positive kind doesn’t come around every day.

I can’t believe it is the end of March already and that tomorrow the children finish school for the end of Term One.  No doubt the two week break will take some managing with so many extra children in the house so I may have to give serious thought as to how we are going to cope.  It’s bad enough in term time when at least three of them are out of the house on a daily basis.

I did say I was going to give up moaning in favour of being more grateful but I must say, Lord, that I do feel as though I’m in some sort of never-ending endurance test – one that calls to account every bit of love, patience, tolerance, understanding and grace that I might ever have been imbued with.  Christian continues to be such a disruption that it’s like living in a madhouse.  I continue to struggle with wondering why you would ask this of us, Lord.

Anyway, I pray for your continued hand to be on us – even if I can’t always see you at work – and that you would bless my shopping endeavours this morning by granting me a good car park, a trolley without dodgy wheels, clear aisles and the world’s speediest check out operator.  Amen.

Here I am Lord, back in the coffee shop!  Sorry about yesterday – another day of chaos, of feeling stressed.  I can see I am going to have to work pretty hard to maintain some sort of dialogue with you while the Wests are in residence.  It’s a shame I’m so bad at praying in my head.  All I can say is that it’s just as well no one is depending on me being faithful enough to write every day.  Imagine if there were people waiting for my daily instalment only to be disappointed to find no entry that day.  I guess that’s what it must be like for you though, Lord, waiting in the heavenly realms for us to pay some attention to you only to be disappointed by a huge bunch of no-shows.

Not spending time with you yesterday meant that I didn’t have the opportunity to write a sort of debrief about Sunday.  I do like telling you what has happened to me over the course of a day and what I have learned – especially after one of Daniel’s Sunday specials.  I realise it has been quite a few weeks since I’ve remembered to recap.  I must say that Daniel’s sermon based on John 19 was not only moving but incredibly timely, centred as it was around your sentencing, crucifixion, death and burial.  Lord what you suffered for me is beyond words and beyond any adequate sort of thanksgiving!  The way Daniel really brought home to us the agonies you went through made me feel ashamed of treating my salvation with a casualness that is somehow appalling.  I guess the old cliché that familiarity breeds contempt could be equally true in our relationships with you as it is with each other.

I know I will be thinking about the things Daniel said all week as we lead up to Easter.  There’s so much emphasis these days on bunnies and eggs and commercialism that it would be easy to completely ignore the reason for this season as well.  I pray that you would forgive me for my lack of thankfulness and even my lack of respect for you who are mighty above all things.  I pray that over this week and over Easter weekend that we might all get a fresh glimpse of you.

Cameron and Ashley stopped by on Sunday afternoon, looking very relaxed and happy with each other.  That relationship seems to be blossoming rather than being bogged down with the baggage of either the past or the present.  They are really enjoying their new church too.  Apparently their church is putting on some sort of Easter art exhibition so, if at all possible, I pray we might be able to find some time to go and see this over the weekend.  A drop of culture might be just what the doctor ordered.

In light of all these things I think I will just be grateful today and leave off the moaning for one day – even though there are plenty of things that are really stressing me out at the moment.  I will say that even though I don’t understand your will or why all these mini disasters keep happening around me, I do know that you have the ultimate power to save me and I must not forget that.

I lift all before you in your precious name…Amen

Morning Lord!  Well, I’m back to hiding in the bathroom in order to get some peace and quiet but after being a.w.o.l for the last two days I really don’t want to miss a third.  Friday ended up being a write-off because the whole house seemed to be in an uproar from the moment everyone got up until everyone finally went to bed.  The morning started badly with Faith and Emily fighting over the television and who should sit where on the couch, got worse with Emily’s homework being torn up by a rampaging Christian (clearly feeding off the agro) with the icing on the cake being my car refusing to start.  Thankfully I was able to take Caroline’s but it all made for a bad start to the day.  Not only that I then had to come straight home to sort out the car crisis and could not sneak off for my little slice of heaven with you.

Then yesterday was Jasmine’s engagement afternoon tea at Libby’s that necessitated me going around in the morning to help ice cup cakes and prepare other delectable nibbles (under Libby’s watchful eye – not my real forte) for the big event.  I did say to Libby that I wasn’t altogether familiar with the concept of the engagement afternoon tea – the kitchen tea or hen’s party yes; the engagement party yes – but an engagement afternoon tea – no.  Of course Libby said that she’d just made the idea up as an excuse to get to know Jasmine more, an idea that I would have found reprehensible were it not for the fact that Libby genuinely wants to get to know Jasmine for herself and not as a possible notch in her Christian conversion belt.

The afternoon tea turned out to be really enjoyable and I must say in spite of the length of our acquaintance I realised I just don’t know Jasmine as well as I either could or should.  She’s got much more of a sense of humour than I realised (which I should have realised – anyone marrying my brother must have a sense of humour) and she’s got some really lovely friends I’ve never met.

Libby continues to amaze me with her capacity, her grace and her ability to get people involved.  I learnt during the course of the afternoon that she has got Jasmine to agree to help her out with Sunday School by coming up with craft ideas.  Of course Jasmine doesn’t have the first idea about any Bible stories so it should be interesting to see what she adds and what she learns.  I must say I would never have considered asking her, let alone Jasmine accepting.

Libby sets such a great example, Lord, and rather than being aloof as I first thought is in fact incredibly hard working, humble and caring.  It does make me feel incredibly inadequate.  This is especially true when it comes to having guests since after a week of having the Wests to stay I am feeling over it already – and not just because Christian doesn’t sleep enough for anyone’s liking.  I am also concerned at Friday’s argument between Faith and Emily and hope this is not the beginning of the same thing we saw with Emily and Madison.

Anyway, Lord, I pray you would bless our time at church this morning and that your hand would be on Daniel has he comes to speak to us, on Libby (and Jasmine) as they take up the reigns of Sunday School.  I pray there would be no pressure, nastiness or upset from Claire and William.  I pray for your continued hand on our crazy household.  I pray you would forgive my many and plentiful sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness for your namesake…in your name I pray…Amen

Morning Lord!  I’m trying to write this in my car this morning since a) I really can’t afford coffee every morning b) I do need to get some shopping done and c) Caroline has been asking questions about what I’ve been up to between drop-off time and coming home time that are making me feel guilty.  I must say that I don’t think this idea is a good one though, and certainly not conducive to good spine health!  Needless to say this will be a short prayer time (although I often say that then waffle on – just as I am doing now in fact) for which I hope you will forgive me.

Just two main things today.  Firstly, re last night’s parent/teacher interview, I must say I have come away feeling a little perplexed.  Miss Rodgers had nothing bad to say about Emily’s academic performance but was certainly very lukewarm about her in other respects.  It seems clear to me that she does not really like Emily overly much, which surely must put a tarnish on their teacher/pupil relationship.  Miss Rodgers did concede (reluctantly) that things had improved since Madison’s departure, but it was not what you would call a glowing report.  It does make me wonder whether I should be talking to the powers that be and maybe even requesting a change of class.  But then, what does that teach Emily about dealing with the harder things of life or about working things out for herself rather than relying on someone (Mum in this case) to rush in and make everything okay?  I continue to pray for the wisdom to know what to do, Lord.  Ditto where Nathan is concerned too, Lord.

Secondly, it is Bible Study afternoon, so I pray for your hand to be on our group as we meet, fellowship, and talk about things from your Word.  As always I pray for Libby as she prepares to lead us – although in truth, Lord, she is such an uber-Christian I’m not sure she entirely needs the prayer.

Oh, I just thought of a third thing.  Last night, just before we were about to leave for the interview, I caught Trinity with her hand resting on our piano.  Ever since the Wests arrived I’ve said she can play any time she wants, but there usually isn’t any response.  I know it’s not half the piano she’s used to but maybe a bit of music will help break down whatever is going on in that poor little child.  When Trinity saw that I had seen her she just looked at me, all tragic and forlorn, and all I could say to her was,  “Whenever you’re ready, Trinity.”  At this point she just turned and walked away.  It was really heartbreaking.  So, Lord, I pray that you would reach through where none of the rest of us is able to go and that you would bring comfort to a damaged little girl.  If there is anything I could be doing to help I pray you would help me know what it is.

Anyway, better go.  I lift all before you in your precious name…Amen

Morning Lord!  Here I am in my little slice of café heaven, ready to spend some time with you again before going home to the fray.  I’m at the point now where I am appreciating every little slice of peace that comes my way.  Even fifteen minutes here is like a small oasis to my soul.  And the sad thing is that this is only Day Five of the Wests being with us!

Having said that, thankfully Christian slept a bit better last night meaning we all slept a bit better last night.  His arrival has been like going back to newborn baby days where you figure you may as well get used to interrupted sleep and just be grateful for what little rest you do get.  He’s significantly louder than a newborn though.  I must say that for all my observations that Caroline could or should be doing more for Faith and Trinity, she is endlessly patient with Christian.  I guess she figures he must not be able to help his condition or behaviour so that rather than getting mad at him, she does all she can to support him.  I am really not sure I could be that selfless, Lord.

The main thing (apart from the ongoing need for your helping hand for our stressed household) is that we have parent/teacher interviews this evening for Emily.  I must say that I am not warmly disposed towards Miss Rodgers and I know Emily is still struggling to come to terms with having a teacher so different from last year’s Educational Goddess.  I pray you would help me moderate my speech and be prepared to listen to whatever Miss Rodgers has to say, but that you would also give me the wisdom to speak up where needed for Emily’s sake.  I am hoping with Madison’s departure that there has been some improvement in Miss Rodger’s perceptions of Emily, but if there has been any thawing of relations between the two of them it hasn’t been evident in Emily’s conversation.

It all makes me realise (yet again) how neglectful I have been in praying meaningfully for my own children – for their health and wellbeing, their education, their salvation.  Here I am chipping Caroline’s parenting of Faith and Trinity when I’ve got a whacking great plank in my own eye.  So, Lord, I pray for my children with all my heart and ask that you would be with and protect them, save them, and lead and guide them.  I am so grateful that you are faithful even when I am not.

I pray all in your mighty name…Amen

Morning Lord!  Day two of the new regime and already I feel ten times more tired from having to do two school drop-offs than I usually would at this stage of the day.  Praise your name for the restorative powers of coffee is all I can say.  At this rate the staff here at the coffee shop could get to see more of me than some of my own family and friends – I ought to start getting to know them a bit better I think.

One of the girls on staff here asked me if I was writing a book since I’m always scribbling away when I come in.  She said she’d heard that J. K. Rowling had written her first Harry Potter book in a café and wondered if I was doing the same.  And, while I don’t know too much about Harry Potter it is true that there are some elements of my life that seem in close parallel to Harry’s in that there always seems to be something unpleasant lurking in the halls of my life ready to spring out and get me.  But then, maybe I exaggerate just a little!

True to my resolution to not have my life completely swamped by the Wests, I called Jess last night to see how things are going post-move.  According to Jess everything is fabulous.  She loves living in town, loves the work, loves the people she works with, and loves the little flat they’re in.  I wondered about how Madison was doing in the midst of this love fest and it seemed clear that Jess hadn’t put a great deal of time into analysing this element of her life.  At length she said that Madison seemed happy enough, although she did concede that Madison hadn’t had a lot to say – either positive or negative – about her new home and school.  Hmm.  I will definitely need to stay in touch I think.

Libby called to say she’d had a great idea and thought it would be nice to put on some sort of engagement afternoon tea for Jasmine.  It seems that while I have been up to my eyeballs in Wests, Libby has been busy befriending Jasmine and getting along with her like a house on fire.  I have to admit, Lord, that I did struggle to come to terms with the fact that two of the most aloof people I have ever met are suddenly all buddy-buddy with one another.  How is it that I have never managed such an easy connection with Jasmine after all these years?

According to Libby, Jasmine is very open to Christian things.  Again, how come I never picked up on that?  What is wrong with me, Lord?  Anyway, what could I say to Libby’s proposal except that it was a great idea?  Of course I have no capacity at the moment to host or organise such an event, but Libby has everything under control.  Jasmine has supplied her with a list of her friends that she’d like invited (I would struggle to name a single one) and Libby herself is going to play the hostess-with-the-mostest this very Saturday afternoon.

On top of this, Libby also told me that she has put her hand up to take over Sunday School.  Naturally I should be thrilled since a) someone is taking over b) that someone isn’t me and c) Libby will do a great job of it, but somehow this piece of news (on top of the great engagement party idea) just made me feel inadequate.  Now I know this all says far more about me than it does about Libby, but I would be lying if I said I felt anything other than put out.  Contrary little thing, aren’t I?

Anyway, as usual, Lord, all I can do is hand over all these twisted, stupid, petty feelings and trust that you would continue to work in my life.  Be gentle with me though!  Better head back home now.  I pray also for the strength to get through another autism-tinged day.  In your mighty name I pray…Amen

Monday morning, Lord, and I’m back to the coffee shop.  I have successfully dropped Emily at her school, Faith and Trinity at their school, and Nathan at kindy and figure that not only do I deserve a coffee, this is the only practical thing I can think of to do in order to spend some time with you.

It was a great upheaval having to be ready to leave earlier in order to do an extra school drop-off but I figure if I can try and do this most mornings (if not every morning) it might give a small measure of relief to Caroline.  Not only will she not need to rush so much in the morning, it also will mean one trip less out with Christian per day.  Anything that buys us all a bit more sanity will be worth it I think – although whether I’ll still feel the same when the temperature starts dropping will be another thing.  It’s already pretty dark in the mornings as we near the end of Daylight Saving with some distinct signs of autumn in the air.  We have had a good summer though, so I suppose we can’t complain too much, can we Lord?

Speaking of complaining reminds me of Claire.  I might have said this before, but if complaining was an Olympic sport she would be a gold medal contender for sure.  Sometimes I can’t imagine how William stands to live with her since I’m sure she must have instructions for everything – but then he does seem complicit in pretty much everything she does so I guess he fully supports her negative ways.

Yesterday’s complaint (as you know) centred round the fact that they hardly get to see us any more.  To them it seems as though our house is permanently cluttered with guests and that there is no room for them, or time for them either.  100% correct!  Claire decided it was high time she gave me a piece of her mind for having invited Caroline and her three ‘monsters’ to stay and waxed lyrical for quite some time about the folly of this move.  When I suggested they could always invite us over instead, or even just take the grandchildren out or offer to babysit now and then, one would have thought I suggested she run down the main street in her birthday suit, such was the strength of her reaction!

Honestly, I thought it was the job of the parents to do the giving and the children to do the taking.  Sure the children have to honour the parents (no mention of in-laws!!) but isn’t the natural order of things somewhat different to what Claire expects?  Clearly, somewhere in the fine print of Claire’s motherhood contract it says that all her motherly efforts are to be repaid in kind at Andrew’s (and my) earliest convenience.  Besides, what does she expect me to do, stand by and let my best friend sleep in the streets?

As if Claire’s complaining didn’t top things off enough, the rest of church was a bit uncomfortable as well.  Since it was Diana’s last morning as Sunday School teacher there in fact was no Sunday School as the service became a sort of farewell for Diana to which the children were invited.  Granted, Daniel did try and make the service kid-friendly by having a children’s talk and an interesting dvd, but by and large it involved Andrew and me having to manage four restless, sleep deprived, hungry young ones, and it turned more into a test of endurance than an opportunity for spiritual succour.

Anyway, I figure that’s enough moaning today.  Claire’s complaints have made me realise I have been a bit neglectful of not only the Copelands, but of my own family as well.  I pray that you would help me to balance all my commitments, Lord, with having a full house, and that you would also help me not forget to keep up connection with others too.  Having guests just dominates and it’s easy to let other things slide.  I also would like to commit our finances to you as well, Lord.  With having Caroline to stay I am sure we will end up having extra expenses (including a daily coffee maybe!) so I pray you would take care of this area of our lives.  After seven years on one income our reserves are not robust!  Bless our mess…Amen