Wow!  The end of January already!  How could the first month of the year have vanished so quickly.  Sorry about yesterday, Lord.  It was a very confusing day with not a moment of peace to be had.  As it is I only have a little bit of time to spend with you now because there’s only Nathan and me at home and he’s playing a game in his room.  As you know, Andrew’s taken Emily to church, but I thought it was probably prudent to keep Nathan at home for another week a) just to be on the safe side chicken pox-wise b) to make sure that he’s as well as he can be for the start of kindy on Tuesday and c) because there’s still officially no Sunday School programme until next week.

Anyway, back to yesterday.  Getting Linley out of the door proved an absolute mission on account of the fact that she had so thoroughly settled in to our house.  Little wonder I suppose, given that she’s been here two months.  Andrew was a bit perturbed to find that leaving does not at this stage include taking the majority of stuff from our garage.  She took her bedroom furniture but since this new flatmate’s (Amanda) flat is already furnished there isn’t a lot of need for most of Linley’s own things.  Apparently she’s going to take the “wait and see” approach and will either stay with Amanda and then flog her own possessions, or end up getting a place of her own.

I could tell Andrew was ready to scream and jump up and down like a toddler having a tantrum, but somehow Linley has the innate ability to simply state things in a way that is beyond refute – which is probably why she’s so suited to being a lawyer.  Anyway, I pray you would find us a way to get rid of those things sooner rather than later, Lord.  Thankfully – for now – Andrew’s relief at getting Linley out of the house is greater than his desire for his garage back.

So, just as we are outside madly waving goodbye with huge smiles on our faces, another car pulls up, and it’s Jess and Madison.  I must admit that I hadn’t thought too much about them since Christmas what with all else that’s been going on, but of course as soon as I saw Jess’s face I could tell things were not good.  So in she came and over coffee out came the latest tail of woe.  I had forgotten in an unforgivable way that she had lost her job and was in danger of losing her home and the update of the situation was not encouraging.  In spite of applying for a whole raft of jobs none have come good, and to top it off she hasn’t been able to afford the rent for the last week.  The landlord is apparently not of a charitable disposition and has served her with an eviction notice, effectively meaning that she and Madison have to be out of their house by Friday.

Then came the crunch sentence, that she wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency, but would there be any possibility of the two of them coming to stay until she found a new job and place to live?  Or just for a week or two?  Or just for a few days?  Whatever we could manage, really.

I’m afraid I could have cried on the spot.  My new peaceful existence that I’ve been picturing evaporated like a mirage.  Privacy, time to think, time to get some things sorted, time to work out what I should be doing with my life – all of these things just disappeared.  Because of course I said “yes” even with Andrew doing his best throat-slitting impression behind Jess’s back, because neither of us would really refuse with such dire circumstances before her.

I wonder, Lord, am I being punished for being a bad Christian?  Is there something you are trying to tell me?  Because if there’s a lesson to be learned I’d really sort of like to learn it and move on – in fact anything so that I can get my house back!  In the meantime, I pray for a new job and home for Jess, for something miraculous to happen before Friday so that she doesn’t have to move in, and for a boatload of patience because I fear I have none left.  In your name…Amen

Morning Lord!  Sorry for the lack of prayer yesterday – when Dad came around to visit Nathan (and Emily) I seized the moment and left Dad to look after Nathan so I could get Emily organised for school.  Somehow that decision seemed to throw the whole of the rest of the day out but boy did it feel good to know that we are finally ready for the start of school next week.

Dad’s visit really cheered Nathan up.  Thankfully today is the last official quarantine day.  Nathan’s spots are really starting to look less prominent and he’s definitely getting back to his old cheeky self.  I suspect there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel.  I love seeing Nathan looking energised – there’s nothing worse than seeing one of your babies feeling unwell.

Of course Dad is always a great tonic for Nathan, whatever the circumstances, and I love that Dad is able to be there for Nathan in a way that he maybe never was for James or I when we were growing up.  There’s something about the grandparent-grandchild relationship that is so special.  Mind you, that’s not always the case.  Look at Claire and William.  Claire has only rung once since Nathan got sick and that was more to fish for what’s happening with Ashley and to complain about Cameron.  Asking about the wellbeing of her one and only grandson was a complete afterthought.  I felt so cross about it that I suggested she should come and visit him even though that would mean having to have her in the house but no, they wouldn’t be coming.  Some story about the cross pollination of chicken pox and shingles and how friends of theirs have had shingles and you wouldn’t wish it on your worse enemy.  Really.

Speaking of James, he rang last night to say that Jasmine is still being hotly pursued for that calligraphy job in Wellington, that the firm have offered to fly her down so she can have a look around, and that she’d decided she might just do that.  This has clearly spooked James like nothing ever has before and he practically pleaded with me to call Jasmine and get her to change her mind.  I said looking didn’t equal acceptance and that it might be good for Jasmine to see what else is out there, but if he did have something to say to her, something important, he had better get the up the courage to say it himself.  Anyway, I guess it does show he cares, which has to count for something I guess.

It’s Linley’s last evening with us tonight as she’s moving out tomorrow.  I should be wildly ecstatic but somehow I’m not.  Of course it will be wonderful to have our home back to ourselves, but I can’t help but be concerned about the hastiness of this decision and the high likelihood she will fall back into all of her big spending ways.  I feel a little talking-to is in order, like a parent trying to explain things to a very small child while they wriggle and pay no attention, but even if it is pointless I think I should still try.

So, as always, Lord, I pray you would have your hand on our family and on our friends, that you would continue to supply their needs – and ours – according to your riches in glory…Amen

Another slightly more peaceful morning today, Lord.  Unbelievably, Emily and Nathan are happily engaged in a great game of playing make believe shops, with the only reluctant player being the cat, whom I think they were trying to draft in as an extra shopper.  Some hope.

Anyway, while they are busily engaged I thought I would sneak in my time with you since, if things run true to form, it won’t be long before there’s some dispute about someone not playing the game right, and then the fur will fly without hasty intervention.  But it’s nice to see for now, and nice to see some sign that Nathan is feeling a bit better.

My main prayer item today is Caroline, Lord.  As I wrote yesterday, I really wanted to catch up with her, but never imagined that calling would open me up to such misery.  I mean, I’m glad I called even though it was hard.  It’s just that knowing Caroline is having such a hard time of it and not really being able to do much about it is not only gut wrenching, it’s also guilt making.

Things just seem to be going so badly on all fronts there, Lord.  Christian is barely sleeping at all, and since he is not safe to be left to his own devices, Caroline is barely sleeping either.  You can hear in her voice that she’s dead on her feet.  This alone would be terrible if the other two children were doing okay but both of them are clearly experiencing fall-out from Logan’s departure.

Caroline said Trinity is spending massive amounts of time at the piano and has retreated into her own world, barely speaking.  Then Faith asked if she could walk down to the dairy on the corner of their road to buy some chocolate with a little bit of her Christmas money only to be caught trying to put some extra chocolate up her shirt.  Of course Caroline was mortified that the one time she lets Faith out alone (really out of desperation) Faith becomes a petty thief.  Then she had to take Trinity (who didn’t want to go) and Christian (who was in mid tantrum) down to the shop to sort everything out.  Mercifully the shop owners were lenient, and let Faith off with a warning.  Perhaps they could see that she comes from a troubled household.  I don’t know.  Of course poor Caroline is mortified nonetheless, as I would be if that happened with either of my two.

Then, to top it all off, the state of their finances is becoming clearer by the day and (so shocking) it sounds as though the bank may actually foreclose on their house – and soon – effectively meaning Caroline will be out on the streets.  It is all just so unbelievable.

In the end I couldn’t stand it, the knowing but the not being able to do anything, so I called Caroline’s mother.  Once again it seems Caroline has been putting on a brave face with them and they had no idea about any of it really except that they knew Christian was a bit of a handful (understatement of the century) and that people (including them) had been helping out with meals as a temporary measure.  I said I thought that Caroline’s top priority at this point had to be sleep, followed closely by some help with the girls since she is clearly unable to give them the attention they need.   So my call did spur the Simpsons into action, but whether Caroline will ever speak to me again for betraying her trust I don’t know.  I’m too scared to call to find out.

So, Lord, I bring this whole sorry mess before you and continue to pray for a solution.  Please help my friend.  I ask this in your mighty name…Amen

P.S.  Just remembered…on the other best friend front, some other news that I can’t decide is good or bad.  Linley came home to say that one of her new colleagues is looking for a flatmate and since Linley likes the look of her she’s decided to accept.  When Linley said she had no rent to be able to pay up-front, the woman said,  “Oh well.”  Oh well?  Who says that about money?

Anyway, the upshot is that Linley is moving out in the weekend – something I know I should be thrilled about.  Somehow, though, I can’t help feeling Linley hasn’t learned anything through this sorry episode and isn’t really in a strong enough financial position to make this work without falling into the same old bad habits of spending too much.  Why is it that sometimes, every silver lining has a cloud?  Please have your hand on this situation too.

Morning Lord.  With Linley up and out of the house first thing I’m suddenly finding myself so much less engaged with things in the morning that finding time to spend with you is so much easier.  She came home yesterday from her first day at her new job absolutely ecstatic – she loved the people, the working conditions, her office, her boss, the coffee.  She said she thinks she’s going to fit right in there in a way that she never did in her old job.  Personally, I think that’s a whole lot of snap judgements on the first day, but such enthusiasm is certainly better than the alternative.

Anyway, if anything, it does bode well for her finding her feet (and the door) sooner rather than later, although I guess I still need to be realistic.  It may yet be some time before I get my house back to myself – just the way I like it.  On top of which, it’s now one week until the kids will also be out of the house, well at least during some of the daylight hours anyway.  Hopefully Nathan will be quite recovered by then.  He’s still a bit irritable on account of being hot and itchy – but this is day seven of the ten-day quarantine period so things should improve soon.  In the meantime I pray you would give him comfort and rest, Lord.

I must try and catch up with Caroline today, Lord.  I pray you would give me the wisdom to know when to ring, and the words to say when I do.  Everything I say starts feeling like useless platitudes in the face of so much woe.  There’s certainly not much to be envious about any more – and I find that very sad.

I commit our family and friends into your care….in your mighty name…Amen

Afternoon Lord.  I’ve managed to sneak away at last – Emily is watching some Barbie movie (no comment), Nathan is asleep (thankfully), and Linley is out because she’s started her new job (very thankfully).  I’m very pleased because my mind is full of things to talk about with you after Daniel’s visit yesterday afternoon.

To be honest you could have blown me over with a feather when the doorbell rang and I answered it only to find Daniel standing on the front step.  I mean I know he’s our pastor but he’s not really the visiting kind of pastor.  In fact, in all truth I’m not sure we really even know him all that well.  Of course the house was in its usual Sunday afternoon uproar (unless we’re expecting Andrew’s parents) so I was a bit embarrassed, especially since I picture Daniel and Abigail’s house to be a place where no dirt is allowed and the sofas still have their plastic covers on in case anyone marks them.

Anyway, Daniel was gracious enough not to mention the mess (although I found myself surreptitiously tucking things away when I thought he wasn’t watching) and he soon got down to the business of why he was there.  First of all he wanted to come and say he was sorry to hear that Nathan was sick, but it soon became apparent he’d come because of other people rather than to tell us someone had died or we were about to be excommunicated.

His big concern is Caroline and Logan.  It was clear that he’s heartsick about what’s happened to the two of them and at a loss to know what to do about it.  I guess he thought that we, the best friend or the other hubby, might have some clue as to how to make things better.  Of course we have absolutely no idea ourselves, something that became quite clear when Andrew recounted his conversation with Logan.   I told Daniel that Libby had set up a meal roster but that Caroline’s big problem was getting a break since Christian was difficult to take out.  I didn’t know what (if anything) to say about their potential money crisis, but I think we gave Daniel a bit more to go on.

His second big concern was about Sunday School.  He’d noticed that we rarely come to church in the school holidays and wanted to know about that.  He was also aware that there had been some tension at times between Diana and some of the children and he wanted to know our thoughts on that.  I felt mean, but I was honest.  I told Daniel that I thought Diana was out of touch with today’s modern, media-savvy child, and that the current Sunday School programme might have been okay for kids of the fifties or the sixties, but it wasn’t cutting it with the ‘noughties’.  Daniel nodded a lot, but I think he’s a bit short on volunteers and not sure what to do with (or about) Diana.  He sort of asked me if I’d be interested but I told him I really wasn’t Sunday School material.  Besides, that sort of commitment effectively means you never get to hear sermons and I’d miss that.

Next, Daniel talked about the failure of Abigail’s little soiree on Saturday night.  He asked us if there was any particular reason why we hadn’t thought to go.  Of course I said that we didn’t want to leave our chicken pox boy, but what I didn’t say was I guess we could have got a babysitter if we’d really wanted to go.  Daniel said only five people came (apart from their family who were probably there at gunpoint and would have made everyone uncomfortable with their miserable faces) and that Abigail was very disappointed.  I diplomatically tried to suggest it wasn’t the best time of year what with it still being school holidays, but apparently Abigail had thought that would be a perfect time – the kids could stay up late, most people were back if they’d been away etc.  I had no idea how to tell Daniel it was fear that had kept us away – fear of what horrible activities Abigail might have organised.

Then Daniel said that Cameron had come to church yesterday with Ashley and that he, Daniel, could clearly see that things were not well between Ashley and Claire.  In fact, Daniel said he didn’t know if we knew or not but he was sure they’d had some sort of argument in the car park afterwards.  He wondered if there was anything he could do to help?  I was tempted to say,  “An exorcism for Claire?” but didn’t think it was quite the right joke in front of the pastor (if joke is indeed the right word).

Anyway, the upshot of Daniel’s visit is that there are plenty of troubled people out there, and way too many of them have connections to us.  I suppose in a way it was comforting to realise that there are plenty of things out there that Daniel has no idea about how to handle either.  So we did about the only sensible thing we could do, which was to pray, and I reiterate those prayers today, Lord, and pray you would bring about solutions to all these little (and big) problems.  Better go now…sounds like Nathan is stirring…Amen

No church for us today, Lord, sorry.  Nathan is our major excuse for not going, but I also think we might have post-holidayitis.  It’s a terrible disease that makes you lethargic and extremely nostalgic, where all you can think about is what a good time you had while you were away and how that’s all gone with no immediate hope of another.  Perhaps we figure by staying home we’ll be able to fool ourselves into thinking we are still away.  Some hope.  I pray you will forgive us for our lack of faithfulness.

To ease my conscience a bit I did read John 10 (which I’m anticipating Daniel will talk about) and I must say it did sting a bit.  It’s yet another passage where many struggled to understand what you were trying to say – this time that you are the good shepherd and we are the sheep, that the sheep know your voice and follow only you – and the main pressing desire on behalf of these people was to know,  “Are you the Christ?”  Of course as soon as you more directly say, “Yes” the people then want to kill you for it since they could not for a second accept such a thing could be true.  In fact, when I thought about it, things haven’t changed much in the last two millennia.  There are still people searching for salvation, and while some find you, the majority dismiss you, or worse, the majority don’t even get to hear about you at all.

From my perspective, I want to know you, I want to hear your voice, Lord.  I’m not sure I really hear it very much at all if I’m honest.  I’m trying to be obedient and to pray, but then I’m not sure I’m very good at either of those things.  I’m not doubting my salvation…but sometimes I feel like I’m not as sheepy as I could be.  Anyway, I guess all I can do is keep trying to move forward and entrust myself to you.  I’m just grateful you are a forgiving God – otherwise you probably would have expelled me on the first day…yours humbly…Amen

Morning Lord.  A new day!  By the looks of things the weather’s a bit dull this morning but the forecasters have promised things will cheer up later.  Thank you for the many blessings you have given us.  Watching the footage coming out of Haiti you can’t help but be so moved by the plight of the people, and struck in contrast at all we have here.  I pray your hand would be on the people, Lord, and that you would provide for their needs.  I know I don’t say it often enough but I am grateful for my little place in the world.

I must confess I’ve never been so glad to see Saturday, Lord, since Andrew will be home and I will be able to get out and about even if it is just to the supermarket, to buy new school shoes for Emily, and to get her books.  It seems hard to believe the kids only have ten days before school and kindergarten resume for the new academic year.  Of course whether Nathan will be well enough is another matter, but once he is better I’m sure he’ll really benefit from being at kindergarten five mornings a week.

I’d like to catch up with Caroline today as well, although I’m not sure of the wisdom of this.  I’m pretty sure Christian hasn’t had chicken pox and I don’t think Caroline would thank me if I inadvertently carried it with me to her house.  I suspect autism and chicken pox would not be a nice combination.  Nathan having it is bad enough.

There’s also an evening on at church this evening, organised by Abigail and billed as a ‘casual but elegant’ get-together but I don’t think we’ll make it to that either.  After the week I’ve had it’s the last thing I feel like doing, especially if Abigail has organised it.  Who knows what strange activities she will have dreamed up?  No thanks.  I mean I know she’s the pastor’s wife, but it just seems to me she tries too hard to be something she isn’t.

Then there’s Linley, Lord.  As you well know her mysterious errands yesterday turned out to be shopping.  I was horrified to put it mildly.  She’s barely contributed a thing since she moved in and there she was proudly showing me two new outfits and a new pair of $300 shoes she’d bought.  If you added up the cost of all the shoes in our entire house you’d be lucky if it came to that!  Of course when I suggested she was putting the cart before the horse by spending money she hadn’t yet earned, and that she was still homeless and in debt, she just got defensive and said she needed new things for her new job.  She starts on Monday (since she has no other fixed engagements, that’s for sure) and so time was of the essence.  Hmph…

Anyway, Lord, I pray for your hand to be on all of our crazy crew – sick, well, homeless, helpless or harassed – and that you would provide for each of our needs.  I pray in your name…Amen

Afternoon Lord!  After concluding I wasn’t likely to get to my prayer journal today on account of all that’s been going on, here I am quite unexpectedly, saved on three fronts.  First of all (as you know) one of Emily’s lesser-mentioned friends, Sophie, was clearly bored enough to be calling looking for company she doesn’t usually keep.  And, since it appears that every member of her family back as far a Henry the Eighth has had chicken pox, there was no barrier to Emily being whisked off for an afternoon at the movies.  It was nice to see Emily’s face lit up like a Christmas tree in excitement, although I did experience a small pang at how keen she was to get away from us all.  I guess this desire for things outside the home will only keep growing until she leaves us entirely…sigh!

Secondly, there was Nathan who was seesawing between boredom and itching in rapid succession.  Nothing seemed to satisfy him.  All the toys he’s got are boring, all the movies he’s got he’s seen a million times etc etc.  In fact the problem is that he just can’t concentrate on anything for too long and really isn’t up to much.  But, a saviour has arrived in the form of my father and the two of them are currently in his room giggling away about something or another.  It’s like a scene from The Princess Bride.  I can’t help feeling overwhelmed with gratitude to Dad for taking the time to come and see Nathan.

Thirdly, I was also contending with Linley who was wandering around ringing her hands like Lady Macbeth over yesterday’s job interview.  Apparently the interview went very well and she liked the look of the firm and the work she’d be doing for them, not to mention the nice fat remuneration package.  But, in typical Linley style, she wants to know if she’s been successful right now.  No waiting thank you very much.  I suggested that they might still have more interviews to go and that she might not hear at all until next week but lo and behold, I was proved wrong in the most marvellous way when the interviewer called to say Linley was the successful applicant and to offer her the job.  Hallelujah, Lord!  May hosts of angels sing with joy at this news – I know I did!

So, she was straight out the door to go off on a whole pile of mysterious errands, and here I sit, in my room, quite alone, and looking forward to the day when my house is truly back to normal!  So, Lord, I give you thanks and praise for the news of Linley’s new job.  Bless Emily in her time out.  Continue to heal Nathan’s body.  I must also remember to pray for your hand to be on Caroline – most especially that you would give her the strength she needs to get through the day.  Amen, Lord, Amen.