Afternoon, Lord.  Well, for once I find myself on my own.  I must confess to being a bit tired this afternoon after staying up so late last night, and the temptation to examine the inside of my eyelids is remarkably strong, but I pray you would bless our time together, and nudge me if I fall asleep.

There isn’t much to report at this stage, Lord.  It’s prize giving and the end of year evening at school tonight.  Emily has been asking me for the last couple of days whether I think she’ll get a prize or not, and I’ve tried to be encouraging but discouraging all at the same time.  They usually only give out one prize to each boy and girl in the class that has made the most improvement during the year, and since Emily sits at the lower end of above average, she really doesn’t have much show of getting anything.  With her dodgy displays of friendship along the way, there probably isn’t much chance of a civics award either.

Anyway, I pray we would have a blessed time tonight, and that Nathan would be temporarily incapable of fidgeting, whispering loudly about fat people or grandmothers with moustaches, and that he wouldn’t announce in a loud voice at a crucial moment that he wants to go to the toilet.

I pray in your name…Amen

Lord, as you well know, it’s nearly midnight, and this is the first chance I’ve had all day to spend any time with you.  Andrew is already fast asleep (and snoring!) but I find myself rather wakeful, and thought I would take this opportunity to download some of the things on my mind.  Hopefully then I’ll be able to go to sleep!

It’s been an interesting day and a bit since I last wrote in my prayer journal and a lot seems to have happened since then.  Lunch with Linley yesterday was very interesting – and in a strange way I found myself seeing her so much more clearly than I ever have before.  I see too how her life has been peppered by a series of disappointments that have shaped the way she thinks and acts.

Yesterday, she started talking about when her parents got divorced.  She was in her teens then, and I do remember it happening at the time.  I was sort of surprised since I always thought that Donna and Damien seemed quite happy together, but apparently I wasn’t nearly as surprised as Linley herself, who had no inkling her parents were unhappy, let alone contemplating divorce.  Now I know that Linley is a bit self-centred, but surely even she couldn’t have missed this coming.

I think it really struck at the foundation of who Linley thought she was.  It seems as though she grew up thinking she was a part of a happy family, then discovered she wasn’t at all, and this has made her mistrustful every time anything good has come along.  Then there was growing up in the shadow of her glamorous sister Rebecca, who in my mind was born looking like a model and has never changed since.  I could suddenly see how Linley does feel inferior to not only Rebecca, but others as well, and how this impacts the choices she makes.  Linley sees herself as the ‘not as…’ kid.  Not as beautiful as her sister, not as clever as some of her fellow university law graduates, not as successful in love as some, not as thin as some…the list goes on.

I can see how much she needs you in her life to help makes sense of things, but even then I think when she found she wasn’t as spiritual as some, that made her turn her back on you as well.  So, Lord, I pray you would work in her life – not so much so that she can find a new job and house (although that would be fantastic of course!) but so that she can find the peace that you bring – the peace that passes all understanding.  Meanwhile, she’s been like a leech today.

On another subject, Libby called to have a chat about Caroline and that whole situation.  Libby said she was thinking about maybe making up a meals roster to help out for a while, and wondered if I would be happy to join.  Of course I could hardly say no even though making meals for others is not my forte (and I know how fussy Logan is).  What really got me is that it should really have been me thinking of this and rallying the troupes.  I mean, what sort of a best friend am I?  But then, I have got the other best friend on the go, so maybe I can only manage one of them in crisis at a time.  It’s hard to know which one of them is more deserving – Linley might be shallow but she’s incredibly needy and doesn’t have you.  At least Caroline and Logan have got each other, got resources and got you.

Last of all, I heard through the grapevine that Andrea from kindy has had another failed IVF attempt, and that this was their last shot as she and her husband have reportedly run out of money.  Lord, I pray you would comfort Andrea in her distress, and pray above all (if this isn’t too selfish) that you would prevent her from taking out her anguish on Nathan.

Right, well, I am officially tired now.  I entrust us all into your tender care…Amen

I’m hiding in the bathroom yet again, Lord, this time to ask for your help to smooth things over because I find myself this morning in a bit of hot water – and unfortunately, I don’t mean the shower!

I completely forgot that today is Linley’s birthday (birthdays are just endless, Lord!) what with everything going on – and Linley failed to mention it – so my name is mud, I’m afraid.  No matter that we have offered her a roof over her sorry head, and are putting up with her less than complimentary comments about our children, our parenting ability, and about the way we fold clean sheets.  I have committed the cardinal sin of close friendship and have forgotten her birthday.

To make up for it I’ve suggested we go out for a late lunch after we drop Nathan at kindy – which we can’t afford and which means I won’t be coming home for my customary time with you before whizzing around the house like a madwoman with the vacuum cleaner or the duster etc.  This has gone some way to placating the situation but I fear I may not hear the end of this.

To make matters worse it seems as though no one else has remembered either, and since Linley is now jobless, homeless and boyfriendless (and turning thirty-five today) the list of grievances is grievous indeed.

So, Lord, I pray you would have your hand on the whole Linley situation, that you would bless our lunch together, and that you would bless our wallet to help pay for it.

I pray in your name…Amen

Afternoon Lord!!  Blissful silence!!  Everyone is out – even the cat – and the washing machine is switched off since I seem to have lost the will to work today.  My legs are aching after all that standing yesterday, and in spite of applying a heap of sunscreen I still managed to get a touch of sun.

Still, it was a good day, and the other parents I was working with really got into the spirit of things – we all wore sombreros and one of the dads donned the worst moustache I’ve ever seen.  We kept fearing it would end up in the guacamole, but somehow it never did.

While I’ve had a small amount of time to myself I have read John 7 to see what I might have missed at church yesterday.  Of course it is hard to know what Daniel would have said to illuminate this chapter, but after his teaching on your dependence and obedience I saw some more verses in this chapter that underscore the fact that you did nothing on your own.

In John 7:16 you say,  “My teaching is not my own.  It comes from him who sent me.”  While in verses 28 & 29 you say,  “Yes, you know me, and you know where I am from.  I am not here on my own, but he who sent me is true.  You do not know him, but I know him because I am from him and he sent me.”

Then there is the wonderful passage in verses 37 & 38 where you say,

“If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him,”

I really like these verses, and having a better understanding of belief (courtesy of Libby) and a better concept of you wanting to live in and through us (courtesy of Daniel) I feel as though I can see more clearly the way you want to work in our lives – with you as the one who makes all things possible – and not me trying to be like you and failing miserably.

As always, I pray you would teach me more…in your name I pray…Amen

Morning Lord.  I’m up early today, not because I woke early, or because of church, but because (as you know!) I completely forgot about the fact that today it’s the school fair and I’d put my name down ages ago to help on one of the stalls.  Luckily (or not) someone rang yesterday just to check that I was still on, and I had to mumble, “Of course, of course,” when in reality I still thought it was a couple of weeks away.  Bad parent helper!

So I’m setting off soon to help make nachos for the Mexican food stall, which no doubt will mean a couple of hours of cutting up onions and browning dodgy looking mince.  Anyway, all in a good cause I suppose since there never seems enough money around to make ends meet.  It was tempting to say I couldn’t go because of church, but that hardly seems the best way to win friends and influence people, does it?

Anyway, I pray for your blessing on the day, that the fair would go well, and that people’s hard work would be rewarded.  I pray Andrew would manage the children and Linley in my absence, and that they would have a fun time when they come along.  Please keep Nathan out of trouble, and his fingers away from the mouths of ponies, should he get interested in having a ride.

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen

Morning Lord.  I’ve sent Andrew out to keep Linley company so that I can have five minutes to myself.  Of course he went with that ‘lamb to the slaughter’ look that so many men seem to have mastered the art of.  When I suggested he could grill her about her future plans and what positive steps she had organised to find a new job he brightened considerably.

Sorry about missing my prayer time yesterday.  I just couldn’t shake Linley off.  She was really down and in need of cheering up – which, according to her glossary, meant the prospect of a long, flash lunch at some up-market place in town.  She seemed most put out when I pointed out that a) Nathan wouldn’t last five minutes in the sort of place she intended before he did something punishable only by eviction and b) she couldn’t afford it and neither could I.  I told that if misery loved company then she had come to the right place – not strictly true, but she needs a hearty dose of reality to snap her out of her old habits.

Anyway, I pray you would be with our little family today and pray that we might be able to enjoy each other’s company with or without Linley, and that you would bless our dinner with Ashley tonight.  I’m thinking of having a roast – Roast Ashley that is – to find more out about this mystery man.  Between her and Cameron, both with their mystery partners, anyone would think we weren’t good enough to meet.

Thank you for your love…Amen

Morning Lord.  Another furtive bathroom prayer time!  It sounds as though Linley will be hanging around today as she has no plans, no interviews and no money with which to do anything substantial or interesting.  I told her I was off to Bible Study this afternoon and she looked at me like I was loony.  At first she half asked if she might be welcome but when she heard that there would be very small children there with sticky fingers and slobbery mouths her interest magically vanished.

It’s our last Bible Study for the year as, from now on, things start getting crazy for most people with end of year functions, the wrap-up of the academic year and with preparations for Christmas.  I’m hoping to not be nearly as busy as some people will be, and I’m hoping for a reasonably modest Christmas this year.  Well, that’s apart from the fact that we have to have both sets of olds come, and maybe our siblings too.

I’m feeling rather sorry that Bible Study is finishing as Libby indicated we wouldn’t resume until school goes back after the summer holidays – probably late February.  I’ll really miss the fellowship and the challenging study and what the other women share about the realities of raising small children – the frustrations and the joys.

So, Lord, I commit today to you and pray for your hand to be on us all.  I especially lift before you Linley, and Caroline, and Jess.

Amen

Morning Lord.  I’ve snuck off for five minutes, leaving Nathan to tell Linley a really long story about war and soldiers and what his grandpa told him about all of these things, so I can have a quick prayer time with you.  I suppose I could be a bit more open with Linley about what I am doing scribbling away in this prayer journal, but I really don’t think she would understand.

Anyway, I just wanted to bring my day before you and pray that your hand would be on it.  I also want to bring before you the two other small things that have happened.  The first is Jess turning up after work yesterday to say that she has made other arrangements for Madison after school so that Friday will be her last day to come home with us.  Truly, Lord, I didn’t know whether to be sad or glad about this as I feel there is much to be resolved here, but I was a little worried by the lack of detail from Jess when I asked what the new arrangements were.  I know Emily will probably be relieved when I tell her (as am I mostly) but I still can’t help feeling that we were at least helping in some small way.  I pray for wisdom as to what to do next here, Lord.

The other thing is that I called (as you know) to ask Ashley to come for dinner on Friday night since it’s her birthday (I’m beginning to think that birthdays should be banned or we should know way fewer people!) but she said she can’t come because she has a date.  A date!  When I pressed her for more details she was very reticent, and just said that it’s early days and we’ll meet him soon.  Mystery man!  Of course you know exactly who it is (which is a little infuriating) so I pray you would have your hand on this new relationship and guard Ashley’s heart.

Better go…I can hear Nathan starting to get silly.  I lift these things before you in Jesus’ name…Amen