Afternoon Lord.  Well, here I am once again.  Hope you aren’t getting bored of hearing from me quite so much!  I must say I’m feeling quite introspective today and am glad to be home on my own and have some time with you.

I want to start today with some words of thanks.  I know that at times I need to remind myself to be grateful and to be thankful but today I feel like this without any reminders being necessary.  For a start thank you for your guiding hand yesterday.  When I arrived at kindy I felt very nervous about what to do or say but no sooner did I walk in the place than the head teacher came over to talk with me, full of reassurances that there would be no repeat of Thursday’s incident, and full of apology for what had happened.  Apparently Andrea has taken a week off, ostensibly for mental health reasons due to her disappointment over the failed IVF, but the head teacher said that it would give everyone a chance to take stock before moving on.

For his part, Nathan quickly left my side and was absorbed into the colour and activity that is afternoon kindergarten, and in the end, in spite of some lingering traces of outrage, I could only accept the reassurances and apologies in the spirit in which they were given, and trust that all would be well.  I think Andrea being away is a good thing, but I must say, Lord, that I did think how sad it must be for her to have got so tied up in knots about her lack of pregnancy success that it is affecting the rest of her life.  So, Lord, I thank you for the way you blessed Andrew and I with our two children (even though, like beautiful roses, the blessing sometimes comes with the odd thorn or two) and pray for your peace and comfort to be extended to Andrea.

Sometimes it is easy to get so caught up in the menial nature of raising small children that I can lose perspective about how precious they are and how lucky we are to have them.  This is all the more true when I think about the other bit of news that I heard yesterday – Caroline’s call to tell me about Christian’s paediatric appointment and how he has been diagnosed with autism.  Autism!  I mean I knew something was up but that is one small, scary word.  I’m not sure I really understand this condition except for knowing that it is called a spectrum disorder, and that every sufferer is different – but what it actually means for Christian both now and in a long-term sense I don’t know.

Caroline and I are going to try and get together soon to have a good catch up, but such a diagnosis is difficult enough to process for me, let alone for Logan and Caroline as parents.  And, it does make me thankful that thus far the only syndrome either of my children has displayed is a bit of oppositional defiance disorder (otherwise known as “No”).

Anyway, by the time Claire and William came around for his birthday dinner last night I felt so shell shocked on the one hand, and so grateful on the other that I didn’t mind them being here, even if Claire did criticise the children’s table manners, and William was about as warm with them as a dried up old prune.  Even Andrew being late didn’t phase me as much as it normally would, since at least Ashley arrived on time to even up the odds of young/sane people to old/crotchety ones.

Anyway, I had better go…but in case I haven’t said so, and regardless of what happens in the future…I just want to tell you that I do appreciate my life and all that you have blessed me with, even if I don’t always show it.

In Jesus’ name…Amen

Morning Lord.  I must confess to being very tired this morning so am grateful that Nathan is in a good frame of mind and seems content to set up some game involving his toy soldiers and some of Emily’s Barbies (must remember to put them back again – hopefully unmolested, although in truth a soldier attack couldn’t happen to a nicer gal).

My mind is still full of kindy this afternoon and what might lie in store for me when I get there (Nathan seems unperturbed by Thursday’s incident although I can’t quite decide whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing) plus shopping and preparation for Pa Copeland’s birthday dinner this evening.  I just have to keep praying for you to give me the wisdom to help make sense of everything.

Thank you for the time at church yesterday.  No sign of the Wests (must ring!) and Nathan was well behaved.  Unfortunately the same could not be said for Emily who completely lost the plot when she misunderstood what Diane was trying to say during a lesson about Moses receiving the Ten Commandments. Diane attempted to suggest that the children need to make their own metaphorical journey to Mount Sinai to learn what God wants for their lives, only Emily thought she said Mount Cyanide and for some reason started panicking about what that might mean and whether God might secretly want to kill her.  Kids!  Mind you, I think the average seven year old might be a tad too young for journeys that are metaphoric in nature.

I enjoyed Daniel’s sermon on James 5.  He gave a very interesting illustration about suffering and about your plan being like a jigsaw puzzle.  He talked about the example of suffering given in James 5 – of Job and about Job’s perseverance through suffering.  The verse Daniel highlighted was verse 11 that says:  “As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered.  You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.  The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”  He pointed out that we often see things happening to us, especially bad things, and immediately start questioning what you are doing. 

Daniel said we are like people doing one of those jigsaws where they don’t give you the picture, where you simply have to be patient and work it out until the image becomes clearer.  I like this illustration even though sometimes in my own life I feel like I’ve barely got the edge pieces sorted.  It is also true that some things take time and require perseverance to get through.

Maybe this thing with Nathan and kindy is like this.  I hope this is the case because at the moment I have no idea why this is happening.

Anyway, things have gone a bit quiet so I better go and see if Barbie is still in one piece.  I commit all to you in the name of Jesus…Amen

Church this morning, Lord!  After yesterday’s physical activity everyone seems to be having difficulty in getting moving this morning.  Andrew says he feels as stiff as a board from an uncharacteristic amount of exercise while Emily and Nathan ran around so much their yawns are of Grand Canyon proportions.

I’m doing the usual “hide in the bathroom” routine so I can spend some time with you before we leave for church, and as always I pray you would forgive my sin and make things right between us.  I pray that Nathan would behave himself and that you would be with Daniel as he speaks, and that you would be with the Wests (if they come…or even if they don’t for that matter).

We’re off to visit Mum and Dad this afternoon (well, mostly Dad) so I pray you would be with us for that visit as well.

Thank you for your love, Lord, and a chance to go and be with you.

Amen

Saturday afternoon, Lord, and I’ve snuck off to spend not only a bit of time by myself but a bit of time with you.  Cameron is here and helping Andrew to reconstruct a part of the back fence that has sagged horribly over the course of the winter.  The two of them are being ably assisted by Nathan and Emily – in the inimitable style that two children can assist – namely getting in the way but having a good time with it.  Nathan has already had three splinters and bumped his head but keeps giggling about things that Cameron says, while Emily has taken out most of her Barbie collection to watch from a refined distance while giving a running commentary on the deficits of Cameron and Andrew’s building ability.

I’ve been making scones and getting the lunch ready (why is it people eat twice as much after a bit of fresh air?) and have just done the world’s largest pile of dishes so I figure I need a break.

I still keep thinking about this situation with kindy, Lord.  How am I to trust them again?  I feel so angry about not only how Nathan was treated but how I was treated as well.  I know we are supposed to turn the other cheek, but that’s easier said than done, especially when it all keeps preying on my mind.

I tried to take my mind off the whole situation by fishing to find out about this so-called girlfriend of Cameron’s – what she’s called, what she does, whether they’re still together, when we might get to meet her – but all he did was smile that enigmatic smile of his and say,  “All in good time.”  How infuriating!  From what I can gather the two of them are still dating but taking it slow at this point, something quite unheard of in Cameron’s relationship history.

Anyway, Lord, I am trying to put this whole situation with Andrea aside, and pray that you would give me the wisdom to know what to do about it come Monday.

Also on my mind in respect of Monday is that it will be William’s birthday, necessitating us invited the in-laws around for dinner.  I can’t think what to cook that I haven’t cooked a thousand times before, and not only that, since William has about as much culinary adventurousness as a goldfish the scope for something new is rather limited.  I haven’t found him a present yet that isn’t Y-fronts or hankies either, and I truly draw the line at buying any kind of undies for my father-in-law.

Anyway, I lift these things to you in Jesus’ name…Amen

I come to you this morning, Lord, feeling considerably ruffled of spirit.  I was having such a nice day yesterday, Lord, until I went to pick Nathan up from kindy and witnessed one of the teachers being mean to him.  As you know, I came in a little early and saw that Nathan was in the sandpit, and I saw him flinging some sand up in the air, when one of the teachers, Andrea, came charging over and yanked him, by the arm, right out of the sandpit and then proceeded to shake him and shout at him.  I simply couldn’t believe my eyes that anyone in such a position of responsibility could behave like that – and to my boy.

Of course I confronted her about it and she was unspeakably rude, practically telling me that I was a bad mother and that Nathan should be expelled – or whatever the kindy alternative would be.  I found myself shaking with anger, not the least because her treatment of Nathan was so upsetting, and so without need.  He was only flinging a bit of sand, for goodness sake, not plotting an act of terrorism.  There wasn’t even have anyone in the sandpit with him to be affected by it.

The head teacher came along at this point (no doubt attracted by all the yelling) and tried to calm things down.  She sent Andrea to the kindy office to cool down and then attempted to get to the bottom of things from my perspective (as if there’s another!) and was shocked to hear that Andrea had been so unprofessional with Nathan.  By way of excuse or mitigation, Andrea had apparently just found out that her recent round of IVF treatment had not been successful, leaving her understandably devastated.  Lord, I know I should be more sympathetic to this woman’s plight, but is there ever a justifiable reason to mistreat a child?  It also makes me wonder whether some of these other ‘incidents’ as reported by kindy are in fact an overreaction by this hormonal, disappointed and unpleasant woman.

But Lord, I also have to wonder what you would think, and bearing this in mind I would ask you to have your hand on her.  I’m not sure I’m quite at the point whether I can quite forgive her, Lord, but I can at least recognise that your influence in this situation is vital.  It makes me wonder how I can entrust Nathan into their care again.

All of this quite took the shine off a lovely Bible Study session.  Libby had prepared another simple but interesting session – this time of our desire to go deeper with you.  Like our last session it was great to hear what the other women had to say about their desire to deepen their relationship with you, and about the challenges of trying to juggle family life and responsibilities and still keep up with prayer and Bible reading.  I shared about my prayer journal (four and a half months and going strong!) and a couple of the others were very impressed and sounded inspired to maybe take this up themselves.  So there was I floating on a cloud of self-satisfaction to think that, for the first time in my entire Christian life, I had actually impressed people, only to walk in to kindy and be confronted with trouble.

Life is never without its difficulties and ironies, is it, Lord?

Anyway, I trust the day to you – food shopping with Nathan coming right up – and pray all in the name of Jesus…Amen

Well, Lord, here I am once again.  It’s pouring with rain today so it’s really nice to be hunkered down and spend some time with you.  Nathan is building some grand creation out of Lego and so I thought I would take the opportunity to scribble a few more lines in my prayer journal (I haven’t yet started the new one Andrew bought me for my birthday!) before Bible Study this afternoon.

Sorry about the lack of prayer yesterday.  I took Nathan to see Dad and we stayed much longer than I anticipated so that we were out until school pick-up time, after which there was no chance to sneak away and spend time with you.  I’m like a referee in a sports match with Madison here, not daring to take my eye off the game for a second in case there’s a foul, a penalty, an infringement or even a bit of cheating.

Thankfully, though, the last two afternoons haven’t been quite so bad.  Maybe this arrangement has a chance of working out after all.  It will be a while, however, before I leave them to their own devices.

Casting my mind back even further I want to thank you for the time I spent with Caroline on Tuesday.  She confessed to me (as though I hadn’t already worked it out for myself) that things are not going well with Christian.  He seems to be out of control – not sleeping well, very particular about what he eats, very minimal use of language, violent outbursts, screaming, a nightmare to try and take anywhere, like a bull in a china shop most of the time, thinking about no one but himself.  Apparently the nanny chucked it in because she just couldn’t cope with him a moment longer, so now Caroline is bearing the full brunt of it herself, largely without support from Logan, it has to be said.  His proctology business is booming with no end in sight (no pun intended!) so he’s not much help.

Caroline she said she has made an appointment to take Christian to a paediatrician and I must say that seems a wise idea to me.  I gave him his present and he ripped the paper off it like a madman and then just flung the contents on the floor without so much as a by-your-leave and when Caroline attempted to get him to say thank you, he squirmed and screamed as though Logan was about to perform one of his procedures on the boy.

Anyway, I continue to pray you would be with the Wests, Lord, and also with our Bible Study group as we meet today – without Caroline, who said she won’t be back until she either gets a new nanny or gets to the bottom of what is going on with Christian.

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen

Here we are, and it’s morning this time as I write today and I must say I don’t feel quite so positive or complacent as I did yesterday afternoon when all seemed well with the world.  Yesterday afternoon and evening ended up turning into an absolute nightmare.  It felt like the old days when the children were both really little and at five o’clock – like someone had switched a switch – the two of them would start fussing and crying and generally being as uncooperative as they knew how.

I guess the fault in the first place lies with me, Lord, since I didn’t really think to prepare more carefully for Madison’s arrival.  I assumed there was plenty to eat in the pantry for afternoon tea only to find I had two of everything – and no matter what I offered Madison the other two then said they wanted one as well and there would only be one left.  This then turned into all out war and somehow set the tone for the afternoon.  No matter what Madison wanted or suggested my two imps made it impossible to achieve.

Then Andrew called to say he had to work late, and Jess called to say she had been held up, so it was like Groundhog Day only on the hour, or the half hour, that I felt as though the same things were repeating themselves, right until Jess picked Madison up at six thirty.  Then, as you know, I did a bit of shouting to try and get my two back on track and just when I thought I was winning Nathan flooded the bathroom.

Anyway I’m praying early today so that I can put in my request for all the help you can spare me to ensure this afternoon goes smoother and because I am going to pop in to Caroline’s after I take Nathan at kindy this afternoon to drop off a present for Christian for his big day (three years old today – where does time go?).  I pray once again that you would give me your wisdom as to what to say when I get there.  I also need to go and stock up on afternoon tea snacks because there’s no way I want a repeat of yesterday.

I pray in the name of Jesus…Amen

Afternoon Lord!  Andrew is at work, Emily is back at school and Nathan is back at kindergarten.  Hallelujah.  Dad is doing well, Mum is behaving herself and I am quite at my leisure to spend time with you and I won’t even thinking about what’s on my ‘to-do’ list let alone what I haven’t found time to put on there yet.

Thank you for yesterday.  Nathan made it through Sunday School unscathed (probably a sign of cabin fever) while there was no sign of the Wests whatsoever.  Daniel was very good again and I enjoyed his thoughts on James 4.  He did a summary of the story to date that was most useful since I was starting to lose the plot a bit.  I really liked what he said about James’s quiet reminders to keep ourselves on track: to be humble, to seek wisdom from you, to be dedicated and avoid favouritism, to be practical in faith and considered in speech.  I must say that just the reminder to tame the tongue and to beware of praising you in one breath and cursing man in the other is challenging, let alone the rest of it.

Madison is coming after school, Lord, the beginning of her coming here on a regular basis.  I pray that the three children might all get on well and that her time here would be positive rather than negative.  Help me not to sigh and think of this as a burden.

Be with Caroline and Logan.  I must call and see how they are doing especially as it’s Christian’s birthday tomorrow (another birthday!)

I pray in Jesus’ name…Amen