Morning Lord.  Sorry (as usual) for missing my prayer time with you yesterday.  I had thought to find some time for us to spend together but Cameron called first thing in the morning to see if there was any possibility Andrew could go out sailing with him.  As you know it was a glorious spring day yesterday, with the perfect amount of wind for sailing, and when faced with Andrew’s puppy dog eyes and his lame stammerings about how it would be a great opportunity to catch up with Cameron (“Weren’t we only just talking about that?” blah, blah, blah) what could I say except okay.

Of course that meant a day with just me and the kids – which was fine.  I guess it would have been a little more reassuring if Andrew had left the house without unseemly haste, but then I suppose if I were faced with the prospect of a day out without kids, and with no prospect of being asked to do any chores, I’d probably cut and run too.

Anyway, they had a great day, and it sounds as though things are going fine for Cameron so far.  He’s loving his new job, seems contented enough with his new apartment and has even been out on a few dates (although Andrew couldn’t dig up too much dirt on just who with!).  The only down side is with his brother Bryce.  I know you know far more about all of this than I do, Lord, but I understand that things are not going well for Bryce, and that his drug addiction is as bad as it has ever been.  Andrew said Cameron had finally tracked his brother down through an old family friend, to some shelter or another, but when he made enquiries Bryce basically says he does not want to see Cameron.

It’s all such a crying shame how the violence and mistakes of one parent can so drastically ruin the lives of the children.  Again I pray for your wisdom, Lord, about how to raise both of our two.  I pray that you would help us to make good decisions and that you would shelter them from the worst of our human frailties – especially mine.  Forgive me my sin Lord, and cleanse me from all unrighteousness for your namesake.  Speak into our hearts at church this morning, I pray.

In the name of Jesus…Amen

Well, Lord, here I am, it’s late (already after school) and I really don’t know where the day has gone.  In fact if Emily hadn’t gone to play at her new friend Brittany’s house after school I’m not sure I would have made it to this prayer journal at all today.

The morning was dominated by housework and time spent with Nathan, then supermarket shopping this afternoon (where Nathan was an angel – hope he’s not coming down with something) and by the time we made it home and unpacked everything the bulk of the day is over.  I feel a bit tired to be honest.  Might be a takeaway night even though I just bought enough food to keep a small army nourished.

Thank you for Bible Study yesterday, Lord.  It was another ‘getting to know you’ session and as it is Libby’s birthday tomorrow, and mine just gone, Caroline had organised a special afternoon tea for the both of us.  She also surprised us all by saying she wasn’t too sure if she would be able to make it to Study for a while as her nanny has resigned most unexpectedly, and is leaving at short notice, so that will leave things a bit up in the air for her.  That’s very perplexing.  I thought the nanny was practically one of the family.  I really must get to the bottom of things where Caroline is concerned – and I might need some of your famous wisdom to make that happen Lord.

Speaking of birthdays, James called to wish me a happy birthday – only five days late but oh well, he said.  It’s not as if we are kids and that stuff matters any more, he said.  I asked him how things were going and he said everything was just fine so he’s either lying his head off or delusional – hard to tell where James is concerned.  I said how much I appreciated Jasmine coming to baby-sit so Andrew and I could go out on the night, and he didn’t know a thing about it.  He certainly didn’t suggest it or put her up to it – in fact he hadn’t even remembered it was my birthday at all until this morning.  Since I’ve always felt Jasmine didn’t like me much, I find this gesture all the more encouraging.  I must remember to phone and thank her again.  It will be tempting to ask her if there’s a possibility she’s insane for choosing to be with my brother but I suspect that might not strike quite the tone I’m looking for.

I pray for your wisdom in all things, Lord…Amen

Quick prayer this morning, Lord.  Thank you for this new day.  I’m off to Bible Study this afternoon so pray your hand would be on us as we meet together and on me so that I don’t make a fool of myself.

Thank you that Dad and Nathan had a lovely time yesterday and came back happy and not so covered in mud as to be objectionable.  Dad was complaining a bit about indigestion after eating the doorstop sandwiches he’d made for the two of them to eat while out on their adventures, but other than that they were happy as two sand boys.  It seems Ben 10 might have met his match after all.

One small thing.  I decided to read James 1 to see what I missed on Sunday and read a most interesting verse.  James 1: 5 says:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

I was blown away by this verse, Lord.  I have thought a lot about how many times I have asked to be wiser, but in truth I’ve always thought of that wisdom as being something innate rather than given, gained by clever intellect rather than coming from you.  If I read this correctly, I should not have been asking to be wiser but asking to have your wisdom.  This may on the surface seem like a case of semantics but it sounds like a much better deal to me Lord, since no one could be wiser than you!  James tells us all we have to do is ask you for it and you will give generously.  How perfect does that sound?

So Lord, I pray for your wisdom, that you would give it to me without finding fault, not so I can be uplifted, but so I can be of more use to you and your kingdom.  I keep getting that sense of you wanting to show me more and take me deeper – and to better understand the provisions you have made for us here on Earth – a prospect I am mostly excited by, but perhaps a little frightened by too.  To know you give generously without finding fault is such a blessing, Lord.

Amen

Morning Lord.  Well, I’ve just seen Dad and Nathan off for another day of adventure.  The weather is absolutely glorious today, as it has been for the past four days, so Dad has decided it’s dry enough under feet to risk taking Nathan off for a bush walk.  No doubt he is hoping to indoctrinate another little tree lover!  I just pray they stay on the beaten track (not much danger of them getting lost where they’re going) and that they have a nice time together.  I’m sure Dad will point out lots of interesting things while they are out, and will hopefully be able to capture Nathan’s interest.  Competing against the likes of Ben 10 is no easy feat.

Dad seemed pleased to be out of the house.  Apparently he and Mum had another huge row – this time over James.  This is kind of ironic since I know that they essentially think the same things about him – namely that he is frivolity personified and that he doesn’t take anything seriously enough by halves.  From what I could gather James was a no-show at work on Monday and Tuesday so James’ boss called home to see whether everything was okay.  In fact James was fine, although perhaps slightly the worse for wear on account of some party he went to on Sunday night.  You’d think that it wouldn’t be too difficult to roll into work every day in a job where you spend your time designing computer game graphics, would you?  But then, what do I know?

In spite of this, Mum was adamant they should leave James to make his own mistakes.  To this end (and in a complete contradiction to this) she invented some clever little story for James’s boss involving a virulent and incapacitating illness, which Dad absolutely thought she should not have done.  Somehow this turned into Dad being in the wrong for always having such high expectations of everyone in the family.  Strange really, given the fact that my father has practically passed the point of no return where expectations are concerned and, aside from campaigning about those blessed trees, is the very picture of mild and undemanding apathy.  It’s funny because in some ways they are so similar – both of them are disappointed in the choices James has made, and both I suspect are disappointed in how their own lives have turned out, maybe even feeling as though life has passed them by – and yet they are separated from each other by rafts of past hurts floating on a sea of disillusionment.

I wonder to myself how you stop yourself getting there.  I know at times I already feel a bit disillusioned with my lot in life, and I wonder sometimes whether Andrew feels the same way.  Maybe our faith in you will be the anchor that holds us fast in the storms of life – and maybe, because my parents lack that faith, they struggle to make sense of life and each other.

I lift them to you once again, Lord.  I wish I had wisdom enough to know what to do with them and what to say to them.

In Jesus’ name I pray…Amen

Afternoon Lord!  Back to the usual routine today.  The birthday is over – let the washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning recommence!  Thank you for a lovely birthday yesterday – especially yesterday evening.  The meal was wonderful.  If it isn’t already, it should be a universally known fact that any meal you don’t cook yourself tastes far superior to any one you do (apart from my mother’s cooking, that is).

It was really nice to spend some time with Andrew without the kids.  We talked about how things are going with his work (a little better, not so many late nights, and some small signs that the recession may be fading), about the kids (what we are going to do about Emily and her soft heart to avoid her getting teased, what we are going to do about Nathan in an attempt to bring him under control), about our parents (both sets equally impossible – heaven help us when they start going off their respective rockers and need help, institutional or otherwise) and about Caroline and Logan (?!).

We talked about our siblings (Ashley seeming so much more happy and confident in spite of living with that misery bag Gretchen, while James is the luckiest man on earth to have as a girlfriend a treasure like Jasmine but doesn’t appreciate this), about church (Daniel really quite inspiring at the moment – Andrew liked the beginning of his new series on the book of James – and the miracle of my having started in a Bible Study group and liking it – although I did point out the study bit is yet to begin), and about some of the other church characters (Abigail coming to church in some leopard skin print, Diana going up in flames over something Christian did, and Sarah getting very cross about neither of us attending her Missions evening on Saturday night which, in layman’s terms, was a complete washout).  I suppose I’ll need to call her – my turn for apologising -even though I was busy dying at the time.  We also talked about Cameron and the need to keep in touch with him, especially since he seemed open about his faith, Lord.

Anyway, better go and face the household chores.  For each of these people I’ve mentioned I ask you would bestow your blessings, Lord, and on the basis that you not only know what they need more than I do, but what is good for them too, I ask you would provide their needs according to your plan.

I pray in Jesus’ name…Amen

My birthday!  Thirty-five today!  Half way to seventy!  Ugh.  Not sure about that bit, not considering how fast the first thirty five years have gone.  Putting that aside, not only is it my birthday, I’m up and about and finally feeling much better.  In fact I’m amazed at how much better I feel today.  Of course the day is practically over since it has been very busy and I’ve not followed my usual routine, so thank you for the blessings that have come my way today.

I’ve had lots of phone calls which has been nice.  Caroline called all apologetic for not having called me back when I phoned last week, and even more apologetic for not having so much as written me a card or arranged a morning tea for my birthday, but at least she remembered.  Linley called, all apologetic that she hadn’t seen either Caroline or myself for ages and suggesting a girl’s night out in a couple of weeks (apparently the dashing Mark is going away on some fishing weekend which will leave Linley at a loose end – how convenient) and amazingly remembered to wish me happy birthday in between talking about how fabulous her new job is and how fabulous her personal life is.

Mum called, all apologetic because she meant to invite us around for dinner or something but failed completely to get herself organised, but she did wish me a lovely birthday and said Dad will be around later with a little something.  Hope it’s not a year’s supply of his business cards or some of her baking.  Claire called all apologetic that she couldn’t ask me around for dinner as it’s bridge night, but instead asked me to meet her for coffee while Nathan was a kindy.  This was hardly the most birthday-like treat I could think of, but of course I went anyway.  Thankfully the restriction of kindy drop-off and pick-up times kept the encounter to a minimum and I suppose in a way it was nice of her to make an effort.

Jasmine called, all apologetic because she had meant to at least post me a card or something (that magic ‘something’) and also apologetic because James had failed completely to mention about the Father’s Day lunch and they had gone instead to her parents’ house two hours’ drive away.  Trust James.  Trust him too, to leave the birthday good wishes department to his long-suffering girlfriend.  Then she offered to come and baby-sit the children while Andrew and I go out for a meal – which I must say was the nicest present of all.  So, in two hours’ time, he’s due home, Jasmine will arrive, and I will be off for a cooking-free, dishes free, bona fide good night out.

So, thank you for a lovely day and for a lovely evening to come.  People might have been less forthcoming where their birthday intentions were concerned, but I certainly got some very sweet apologies nonetheless.  If it truly is the thought that counts at least a bunch came my way!

Amen, Lord.

Peace and tranquillity, Lord.  Andrew has braved it and has taken both of the children to church while I stay home and continue hiding under the duvet.  I could tell Andrew was a little nervous at the prospect of the managing the two of them at church without me, all under the scrutiny of his parents, but I think he was encouraged by how well yesterday went when he took them to the transport museum.  I suppose he figured if he could manage them with vintage cars he can manage them with vintage parents.  After all the same rules apply – No Touching!

I will say I do feel a teeny bit better today which is just as well since I really need to be up and about tomorrow as it’s my birthday!  Birthdays just seem to be never-ending around this place lately.  As you know I am perhaps a little contrary to many women of my age, in that I actually like my birthday.  Of course I’m realistic about the types and amount of presents I will get, and dinner will probably end up being a takeaway that I’ll wish I hadn’t eaten afterwards, but it’s nice to celebrate being alive I think.

Anyway, time to spend a bit more time studying the inside of my eyelids now.  Watch over my little family, Lord, and as much as it is within your power to make sure Nathan behaves, I pray you would help him resist all temptation towards mischief, Lord.

In the name of Jesus I pray… Amen

Groan.  Here it is the weekend and I’m still too sick to enjoy it.  Not only that, the kids have woken up completely hyped and ready for a weekend of fun and games.  I’m going to see if I can’t persuade Andrew that it’s time for some decent father-children time and get him to take them somewhere, just the three of them.  Maybe the Museum?  That’s nice and cheap.

Meanwhile, I don’t want to appear overly demanding, but if that healing could come my way any time soon that would be just wonderful.

Amen, Lord, Amen